It is not a popular thing to say in today’s culture, but God created man and woman.  What makes ths simple statement unpopular is that it implies that God created two genders, deliberately.  Jennifer Heeren* writes “Does that mean that all men act the same?  Or do all women act the same?  No.  Does it mean that a little girl who likes playing sports is a boy inside?  Does it mean that a little boy that likes to play house is a girl on the inside?  Of course not.”  All of us have likes and dislikes that have nothing to do with our gender.  God made me an individual, but Heeren says I am “an individual under the parameter of one gender or the other.”  In addition, it is very unpopular to say that one gender is better than the other; it is much better to say that men and women are different but equal.  Theologically, God states in Genesis that men and women are of equal worth to God, but they approach life in different ways.  Men and women don’t need to compete for gender dominance because they complement one another. 

All this is a prelude to Kevin DeYoung’s thoughts on Chapter One of his book** “One Man, One Woman, One Flesh.”  DeYoung’s book is dedicated to focusing on the traditional view of marriage, marriage between a man and a woman.  He gives the reader five reasons that it is right to think that God’s design for marriage is one man and one woman (looking specifically at Genesis 1 and 2).  He is clear in his expression: “the way in which the woman was created indicates that she is the man’s divinely designed complement” [27].  My discussion will focus on the controversial ideas that women are men’s companions, men’s helpers and second in line in God’s human creation process.

Like Heeren’s statement above, DeYoung knows his position is not popular.  “Some have questioned whether this straightforward reading of the text is really all that straightforward.  Eve, some argue, was not a complement to Adam as much as a basic companion.  The problem [they think] is that woman helped Adam with aloneness not incompleteness.  If Adam’s problem was aloneness a nice dog could have helped him with that concern, but Adam needed more, Adam needed a helper, equal to man but also his opposite.  In Genesis 2: 18 God declared “It is not good that the man should be alone.  I will make him a helper fit for him.”  What Adam lacked, Eve provided.

Helper is a word that many object to today, the idea that a helper is not a lead character in life.  The helper only helps the leader.  According to the Hebrew translation of helper [ezer], the word does not imply subservience.  The second Hebrew word used in Genesis is kenegdow which means according to the opposite of him.  Again the focus is not on subservience, but on the need for an opposite.  Adam and Eve were made for relationship; with the creation of another sexual opposite, Adam was able to fulfill relationship needs, the fulfillment of joy and love for another person.

Further problems occur when God takes a rib from man in order to make the woman.  Woman could not be created out of thin air of dust; woman was created from man’s rib [“bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh”].  This (for some) implies that woman is lesser than man.  Man came first and then woman came second.  Man was original and woman was a copy.  This according to “Are Men and Women Equal in God’s Eyes”*** is a basic misunderstanding of Scripture.  It is not implied anywhere in Genesis that woman are unequal because they were made second.  Just because God has given men a first position in creation does not mean that men have special standing with God.  Man and woman are not in competition with each other.  They are designed to complement each other.  They (together) are designed to glorify God when they work together.  DeYoung states that the “way in which woman was created indicates she is the man’s divinely designed complement” not man’s divinely designed competitor.

Heeren’s attitude is reflective of the traditional view of marriage, that it does not matter that Eve cures Adam’s need for a companion, that Eve provides Adam a helper or that Eve comes from the first man’s rib after the first man was created.  Even if some struggle with the idea that women are “submissive,” one should look at the attitude of Jesus.  He gave up His Divine place with God in order to become a human being.  He humbled Himself, He submitted to torture that was totally inhumane.  He sacrificed Himself so mankind could be released from sin and communication with the Holy Father could be established.  Submission is not a sign of powerlessness.  It is a sign of obedience.  God manifests Himself through us as we humble ourselves.  Second Corinthians 12: 9-10 states that “my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

When a woman makes things with her hands, feeds her family, serves her family, build up finances, exhibits compassion for the needy, provides clothing for her family, builds up her husband, brings strength to people around her, offers wisdom to others and stays busy in life****, these are noble activities that deserve a place of honor in life.  These jobs are possibly not strong points for men, but men need someone to perform these tasks.  In Got Questions “Are Men and Women Equal” the comparison is to tools in a tool chest.  Differing roles do not indicate differing worth.  “A screwdriver has a different role in the carpenter’s shop than a hammer, but that doesn’t mean one tool is more valuable than another.” 

Complementarity does not mean “less than;”  it means equal, one human is not complete without the other. 

For DeYoung the woman is the “suitable” helper for the man, not another man.  For the woman, the “suitable” helper is a man, not another woman.  This is why DeYoung feels marriage should be a covenant relationship between one man and one woman. 

After discussing the role of Eve in Adam’s need for relationship, the role of Eve in Adam’s need for help and the timing of Eve’s creation in the Genesis creation story, the next post will comment on DeYoung’s “one flesh union” ideas,  that God’s perfect plan for marital intimacy presupposes one man and one woman.

*Jennifer Heeren “Why Did God Create Woman?” Crosswalk Website Accessed on May 26, 2023.

**Kevin DeYoung,  What Does the Bible Really Teach about Homosexuality?.

*** “Are Men and Women Equal in God’s Eyes?”  Gotquestions.org Website  Accessed on May 26, 2023.

**** Proverbs 31: 10-31.