There she was, across from me in the produce section of my favorite grocery store.  I had not seen her in months, but for many years we used to worship at the same church.  I was on the same team with her as we worked on vacation Bible school.  I sang with her in the choir.  I mourned with her when her husband died long before I thought he should have passed.  I always enjoyed playing golf with him.

Yet she was a few feet away from me and as I looked at her, she frowned and looked away.  I began to say her name but I stopped short.  Her body language was not communicating friendliness; I got the distinct impression that she did not want to interact with me.  Within seconds, she moved quickly to another location in the store and I did not see her again.

When the church where we worshipped became Global Methodist,* she left.  She has a family member who is gay and I felt that maybe the change of denomination kept her from worshipping there.   One Sunday, she just stopped coming to worship services and never returned.

What was on her mind as we encountered one another?  I wanted say hello and something like I have missed seeing you, but I have no idea about why she reacted to me the way she did. I have never had an opportunity to talk to her about her feelings about the United Methodist schism so I can only guess.  I can only say how I “felt” that day in the grocery but of course my feelings are not valid about her because I have no solid evidence from her to support them.

This episode raises important questions as I come to the end of my discussion of homosexuality in the Christian church.   How should the opposing sides in this debate feel about each other?  Should we just take our positions on opposite sides of the issue and hurl epithets at each other?  If we take our cues from the cultural climate in the United States today, that would seem to be the most appropriate posture. 

But that kind of behavior goes against my nature.  I don’t dislike people just because they view life differently from me but homosexuality in the church has become a dichotomous issue now and it has become increasingly hard to take a neutral position on this topic.  Preston Sprinkle** is very clear about the cultural shift that has taken place in American.  “A couple of decades ago, affirming Christians were a small minority.  Today a growing number of evangelical believers affirm the sanctity of monogamous same-sex unions.  My guess is that it won’t be long before non-affirming Christians will be in the minority…the church is on the verge of a catastrophic split.  People on both sides need to think deeply about how they view those on the other side” [150].

Sprinkle is an advocate for communicating on this issue, trying to understand other views. But he is also a Biblical scholar who does not feel Scripture sanctions same-sex unions.  However he sees no value in labelling affirming Christians “heretics,” “wolves in sheep’s clothing” or “false prophets.”  Is human sexual preference a real threat to orthodoxy or just a secondary issue like the preferred day to keep the Sabbath or the preferred method of baptism?  Can we still worship together even though we have a difference of opinion?  Sprinkle has studied affirming arguments and non-affirming arguments and is open to both sides explaining their point of view, not disliking each other.

He feels it is important to understand why affirming Christians affirm same-sex Christians.  In the case of my friend at the beginning of this post I suspect that she feels her son would no longer be accepted in my church.  However if he came to worship at my church I don’t think he would feel any different than anyone else.  The subject of homosexuality never comes up in a sermon and there is no “homosexuals not welcome” message on the front page of the weekly bulletin.  This is a church doctrine issue and not a subject that is discussed at all.  It has been my experience that most church members don’t spend a lot of time studying church doctrine.  I also feel Sprinkle is correct when he says that not all affirming Christians are the same.  Again, our culture today tends to direct all of us to pick a side, and to say negative things about the other side.   As Sprinkle says that not all affirming Christians are the same, not all non-affirming Christians are the same.  Even though non-affirming Christians would prefer not to have homosexuals as pastors and don’t encourage homosexuals to be married in their church, most don’t have hateful feelings toward homosexuals [I suspect some do].  Too many same-sex Christians and affirming Christians think that non-affirming Christians sit around making “Adam and Even not Adam and Steve” jokes or saying things like “gay pride is why Sodom fried.”  Human sexuality church doctrine may be why the United Methodist Church split but human sexuality is not the primary focus of worship in non-affirming churches.

I am not going to re-litigate the many arguments for and against homosexuality in the church in this post*** but I love the way Sprinkle writes the section called “Interlude” in his book.  “So what does the Bible really say?  It says that it’s a sin.  It’s damnable, evil and could exclude a person from God’s kingdom.  It’s so bad that God destroyed an entire city that was engaged in it, and Jesus says that those who practice it are liable to face judgement rather than salvation when He returns…. Our culture has accepted it as a virtue instead of a vice.  Even our Christian culture is letting it slip into our churches unnoticed….Many churches, if they are not actively endorsing it, try to remain neutral.  But neutrality is nothing more than endorsement covered in sheep’s clothing”

“I’m talking about the misuse of wealth—the sin that’s condemned in more than two thousand passages in God’s inspired Word.”

I bet you thought he was talking about homosexuality.

What should we do as Christians?  Take sides and castigate the other side?  I don’t think so.  We are supposed to do the good deeds of The Father and His Son Jesus.  We are supposed to love others.  As we receive the Holy Spirit in our hearts, we experienced love, love and that love should be passed on to others.  We are supposed to serve.  A life in Christ is a life that is dedicated to serve those who need our help.  We are supposed to have faith, faith that produces good deeds.  We are supposed to have perseverance; we serve and love others even in personal times of trouble because God is with us and powering us.  We are supposed to grow our faith, serve more and reach more people; to increase in good works.

Christians, know how we are supposed to treat others. I don’t think we are supposed to glare at each other across the produce aisle.

“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.”  John Wesley

*The Global Methodist denomination was born out of the United Methodist Schism which was centered on human sexuality regarding the acceptance of same-sex church leaders, pastors and same-sex marriage within the church.

** Author of People to be Loved: Why Homosexuality is not Just an Issue

***There will be time devoted to wrapping this discussion in a future post.