I was hurt, in fact I was crushed. Someone I truly admired had betrayed me and I just could not believe it, but it was true. I feared my life with them would never be the same.
I remember the day I found out. In fact, I will never forget it. As I walked our cocker spaniel in the neighborhood that morning, I talked…not to the dog but to God.
I asked over and over again “What do I need to do?” “What is my next move?”
My first instinct was to make someone pay, to hurt others as much as I was hurting. I could have easily revealed my problem to friends and family and ruined reputations. I even wanted to do violence to another person when violence was not my normal nature.
Then it happened.
The next move was revealed.
I heard a distinct voice, “Go to work and act like nothing has happened. I will take care of this.”
Ok readers, you are thinking right now that David Carter has gone off the deep end. He is revealing that God has spoken to him. Well, that is what I felt that morning, that God had told me what to do.
It was not the easiest thing, to act like nothing had happened. God asked me to mask my pain. God asked me to not take action at all.
You might ask, why do I think this was God’s directive to me?
John Bevere’s book* gives some insight.
God’s directives need to be obeyed instantly and I did that. I took the command and immediately implemented it. I did carry on with life, acting like nothing had happened.
Obeying The Father is important even if it does not make sense. What God asked me to do did not make sense at the time; some would have told others and would have become violent. That is how many problems are handled but not this time. God said do nothing.
Obey Me even if it hurts. It was hard on me to obey God. Stuffing pain inside does take a toll and I did not understand it but I did it anyhow. It is not on the same level but when God told Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, how do you think Abraham felt? He cried out “What! How can you tell me to do this! You promised me that nations would come through him!” There was no response from God but the next morning he saddled his donkey and took his son to the site of sacrifice.
Obey Me even if you don’t see the benefit. Now here is the catch. After years have passed from this episode, I have definitely reaped benefits. I could not see them on my day of pain but they are real. The list is long of the life lessons this episode taught me. The greatest benefit was the strengthening of my relationship with God. You see, before that day, I never had a word from God, a directive. I guess I thought people who had such experiences were kooks.
Now I knew differently.
Obey me to completion. This outward obedience to God was hard too but it was important for me to do this. You see, going to work and acting like nothing happened was the first in many steps that He wanted me to take. Life did not return to normal just because I did this first thing. I kept asking God what He wanted me to do and He put people and things in my life to help me along the way.
I had a need, a need to know God, a need to know how to be a follower and step by step He revealed all that I needed to know Him more intimately.
I have written about this time in my life before, this falling in love with Jesus. It was just like I felt when I met my girlfriend [my wife]. I thought about Jesus all the time. I wanted to talk about Jesus all the time. I wanted to learn about Jesus so I could know Him even more.
Baby Christians are like that. They sense that God has come into their lives and cleaned them up and it is truly a miracle. You can’t get enough Jesus in your life.
Well, today the hurt has healed. You might say there is a scar but where the scar is, I have a new strength. The scar will never go away but like real scars, the skin where the wound was inflicted is pretty strong, about eighty percent as strong as the original skin. I am not sure I want the scar to go away, the reminder of where I was on that day when I asked God what to do, what my next move was to be.
Without the wound, I would not have encountered God. Without the wound, other areas of my life would not have developed. This is what John Bevere calls “proof of Godly fear.” When God calls on us to obey His commands rather than follow our primal instincts.
The true benefit is hearing God say “I will take care of this.”
All I had to do was obey…
*Good or God?