St. John Studies

Chapter 5 in Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White is all about finding the place where we can operate as Christians in a world that seems to love extremes.

I wonder if some of this comes from contemporary journalism, where the headlines try to grab our attention and the news programs on ABC, CBS and NBC all seem to lead off their broadcasts with dramatic “breaking news.” The twenty-four hour news networks [Fox, CNN and MSNBC] seem to have breaking news all the time.  You know the red banners that appear on the bottom of the screen after the networks flash a bright red “breaking news” logo onto the screen.   We have become accustomed to seeing extreme reactions to things that happen.  Some would say that humans are really doing more extreme things.  Those news networks are not exaggerating.

Two days ago, I wrote about Jesus’ reaction to the rigid Pharisees and my comments were “Time and again Jesus finds himself doing what needs to be done regardless of the rules.   He puts people over regulations; He puts needs over rigidity.  If someone needs to be healed, He heals them regardless of whether the healing is on the Sabbath or not.”

In short, he loosened the rules.

In yesterday’s post I wrote about the New Covenant, the idea that God came into man’s heart and the Pharisee was bypassed [“no longer shall they teach one another”]. “They shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest” [from Jeremiah 31].

You might think that this change would be greeted with great joy, but it wasn’t. After many began to see that the goal in life was not to fulfill the law of Moses, be circumcised, perform ritual acts and lots of other laws, there was panic.

I have been studying the Book of James in my Sunday school class and this book is an excellent example of the reaction. James is writing to Jews who believe in the Messiah, Jews who have left Jerusalem and they are seeking freedom to practice their new form of faith—Christianity.  James is telling them that a loosening of the strict Old Testament regulations is not an abolishing of the rules.  Boundaries still exist.

What I am trying to express is there is freedom in having boundaries. All James is trying to do in his Scripture is express the idea that Christians have boundaries.

I know that some people in our world chafe at the idea that ANYONE can tell them what to do but why do we need to know our limits? Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend tell us in their book [would you know it, entitled Boundaries]. “Boundaries define us….A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.  Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom….However if I do not “own” my life, my choices and options become very limited.”

We need to know where the boundary is. Jesus did not come to earth to destroy all the rules and regulations that the Pharisees held dear.   He just knew that some religious leaders had developed what is commonly referred to as a “holier than thou” attitude and that was not right.  He just knew that some religious leaders used their position within the Jewish hierarchy for their own benefit.  He knew that the Jewish faith was not as capable of attracting people to God due to the system that was in place.

He seemed to want to find a way to make faith in God more accessible. Some of you readers may think that an understatement but in increasing accessibility, Jesus did not want to abolish all boundaries. Many of the Jewish people of His day rejected Him.  He knew that was going to happen, but His time on earth was a statement, a statement that the old rigid relationship with God was over.  A new relationship has now come about.

Many who think about the extremes of today think that extremes are the only way we can exist. We can’t find some middle ground that would be acceptable to a wider range of people.

But when you read about the life of Jesus, I think He intended for people to approach God from a “middle ground”.

If Jesus was on earth today I wonder what He would think about our constant “breaking news.”

I think maybe He would tell us to “watch less television.”

As I begin comments on Chapter 5 of Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White, today is the day I began my 2016 golf campaign [aka my first round of golf for this year].

The title of the chapter is “Finding the Sweet Spot.” For the non-golfer, a little explanation is in order. The sweet spot is the spot on a golf club where the golfer can get the maximum distance from a shot.  It is usually in the center of the club face.  Strikes to the golf ball away from the center result in shots that can go all over the fairway and distance suffers due to off- center hits.

I have been around several pastors who love to play golf. I always figured that getting out in the fresh air is a stress relief, but why would Pastor Hamilton talk about the sweet spot for a chapter?

The sweet spot represents something to him.   It represents the perfect blend of extremes and Seeing Gray is definitely not a book dedicated to extremes.

The extremes he discusses are legalism and libertinism. Legalism in Christian theology, is the act of putting law above gospel by establishing requirements for salvation beyond repentance and faith in Jesus Christ and reducing the broad, inclusive and general precepts of the Bible to narrow and rigid moral codes [Wikipedia].  Libertinism refers to a lifestyle or pattern of behavior characterized by self-indulgence and lack of restraint, especially one involving sexual promiscuity and rejection of religious or other moral authority [Wiktionary].

Neither extreme is effective for the best Christian living. Most people would say “well duh” to the idea that libertinism would even be practiced by a Christian.

However, one view has too many rules and regulations and the opposite seems to have no rules and regulations, no boundaries.

I am in a special place right now as a student of the Bible. Last fall I blogged on a book that impacted my life, Dallas Willard’s Hearing God: Developing a Conversational Relationship with God.  It took me deeper into knowing my faith than I thought I would ever go, especially my knowledge of the Bible.  As I wrapped up the book and began to look forward to the new year, I felt a burning desire to read the Bible.   I knew that there were so many blank spaces in my Bible knowledge, especially my knowledge of the Old Testament.

The pastor at my church insisted that my whole church read and study Pastor Randy Frazee’s The Story, which was a narrative “introduction” to the whole Bible and that was a good starting point for me.   Being a Sunday school teacher, I got to dig into the chapters as we went from Old to New.  As I read The Story, I began to look at episodes of Roma Downey and Mark Burnett’s “The Bible” and that was a good thing.  Even though a visual image can distort a person’s imagination, I let go of those concerns and just watched the whole miniseries to get a flavor of the Middle East in Jesus’ time.  Well this year, I have finished the Old Testament [New International Version] and I am now reading the New Testament.

You might be asking where am I going with this?

I see from my New Testament reading, a Jesus who frequently challenged the religious status quo. Jesus came to establish a New Covenant with the Jewish people.  He wanted to establish the fact that life was not always about strict adherence to the Law.  Some things that are immediate and necessary sometimes have to take precedent over the law.   “If one of you has a child or an ox that falls into a well on the Sabbath day, will you not immediately pull it out?” [Luke 14: 5].  Time and again Jesus finds himself doing what needs to be done regardless of the rules.   He puts people over regulations; He puts needs over rigidity.  If someone needs to be healed, He heals them regardless of whether the healing is on the Sabbath or not.

As you read the New Testament, you get an overwhelming sense that He is right in what He does. He is trying to show the world that some religious leaders are missing the “sweet spot” as they overemphasize the Law.  Jesus would rather take care of His “sheep” than enforce the law.

We know of the Pharisee, the person who wants to put on a show, the person who wants the power of the Law, the person who is better than others due to his obvious devout behavior.

“The Pharisee stood and was praying this to himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people: swindlers, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’”

As Jesus tells this, He is obviously not happy with this kind of behavior.

He is more accepting of a tax collector than a Pharisee when He says “But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to lift up his eyes to heaven, but was beating his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’ I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

Honesty over dishonesty, care and concern for people rather than disregard and lack of concern for the needy, humbleness rather than prideful behavior, selflessness as opposed to selfishness. Jesus came to show us the “sweet spot.”

As I found today in my inaugural round of golf in 2016, even though I did not hit the sweet spot every time, I kept on swinging. I know what it means to hit it.

Folks, it feels very good; it feels right.

John Wesley had a term for a Christian who was making headway to spiritual maturity, sanctification. He used the words “Christian perfection” to describe someone who reached a level of maturity that modeled things like selflessness, unconditional love and a willingness to suffer on behalf of others.

How many Christians really feel they have reached perfection? Of course, the answer should be zero but does that keep one from trying to grow in their faith.   Adam Hamilton in Chapter 4 of Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White addresses the idea that Jesus said we should have the faith of a child.  I think the main idea that may have been intended was that Jesus admired the trust of a child.  It is wonderful to see a person with great trust in God, but Hamilton also adds that adult faith is “thoughtful, reflective and able to recognize and embrace paradox and ambiguity.”

This leads to the final three levels of faith development that Hamilton references in Dr. James Fowler’s book Stages of Faith. Buckle up, you are not going to like stages four, five and six.

Stage four is called Individuative Reflective Faith. This stage of faith is usually brought about by some personal trial.  Many people don’t have this level of development because the process happens due to some faith shattering experience [divorce, horrible sickness, incarceration etc.].  For the first time in a person’s life, the faith that has been passed on from others [parents or authority figure] does not fit anymore.  People at this stage of spiritual development realize that the Bible does not have to be taken literally for it to be God’s word.  The world is not all black or white.  The absolutes and certainties that once seemed so secure are not there the way they used to be.   As you can imagine, this stage of faith can lead to sleepless nights, “dark nights of the soul” and just general soul-searching.

This stage sounds painful doesn’t it?   Who would want to go through this?  People have hard times but that is where the greatest growth occurs for many people.  The crucible is an appropriate image for this stage.   Just as metals are heated to a very high intensity to change them, so are we.   We find ourselves in a place where we have to change and make difficult decisions.

What is on the other side of this stage? Conjunctive faith is the stage that follows.  The word conjunctive is key as people in this stage begin to bring things together.  Hamilton states “seemingly contradictory things are at one and the same time true, in which seemingly irreconcilable ideas can be held together and in which seemingly absurd things are actually real.  At this stage, people become more open to and tolerant of the views of others.”

If I may editorialize, this stage does not mean that faith continues to be shattered as in stage four; instead, a new faith emerges that sees beyond the things that divide us. This new faith builds bridges, is open to sharing love with others and allows the sharing of ideas.

Universalizing Faith according to Dr. Fowler has possibly been achieved by rare people like Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Theresa but it is something that most people do not experience.  Even letters from Mother Theresa expressed the many years of spiritual doubts that she had. She stated that she often did not feel the presence of God in her life, but she overcame those feelings and became selfless, able to express unconditional love and suffered for those less fortunate.

Here is the rub.

Most Christians never get to stage four or stage five for that matter.   One would not expect to get to stage six but it is very common to cling to conventional ideas of faith and stop searching for answers.  The tried and true is good enough.  To go beyond the ordinary takes too much work and even if a crisis in life occurs, most people want to rush back to the status quo.  The painful growth associated with constructing new belief is just too hard.

Let’s put all this in the context of today’s world.   Is it any wonder that people refuse to get along with others?  I think not, because it is too challenging to understand another’s point of view.  Slap negative labels on people.  That’s fast and easy and requires little thought.   Holding back on a label and trying to get to know someone else takes time and patience and good listening [mental work].

I hate to end on a negative note but let’s be real. Pastor Hamilton had a very “realistic” parishioner comment to him about his teaching of Dr. Fowler’s book.  “Adam the problem is that most people in the world will never leave stages II or III and you are challenging this congregation to enter stage V.  They’ll never be able to do it.”

Hamilton’s response: “I cannot accept the fact that people cannot move beyond three.”

I can’t either. I know people who have moved beyond stage three.  God bless them.  They inspire me to be a better person and make we want to try to move on down the road toward sanctification.

Arrested Development: what does it mean? For some it is the tv show that ran on Fox from 2003 until 2006 about a wealthy dysfunctional family.

For others, it has multiple meanings that come from medical and mental health history. In the field of medicine, the term “arrested development” was used, in 1835-1836, to mean a stoppage of physical development.  In 1983, the term “arrested development” was considered a form of mental disorder consisting of severe mental impairment, resulting in a lack of intelligence.  Today the term is no longer used to refer to any developmental disorder in the mental health profession.

For Christians, it could mean the cessation of spiritual development on the way to spiritual maturity.

Adam Hamilton in his book Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White talks about the development of Christian maturity in the book Stages of Faith by Dr. James Fowler.  Dr. Fowler posits that there are six stages of growth that Christians have as they live out their Christian faith.

Sadly, most Christians never get to stage six. They stop at stage 3.  That is where I will stop today.  In tomorrow’s post I will comment on 4 through 6.

Have you ever heard someone say how wonderful it is to have the faith of a child? Of course that is stage one. What is wonderful about it?  First of all, a child is so accepting.  Secondly, a child is not judgmental.  Those are fine qualities but as Fowler describes in stage 1, a child’s faith is shaped by outside forces too much.  Children are innocent and Jesus knew that when He said “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”  But let’s examine this idea a bit.  Is Jesus advocating that adults behave as children regarding God?  I really think the innocence of the child is held up as an ideal but God wants us to graduate beyond a childlike knowledge of Him.  Fowler says in stage 1 “It is difficult for them to differentiate between God and the tooth fairy at this stage.”

The second stage is called the Mythical Literal Faith. This level of faith is characteristic of school-age children.  At this stage, the elements of faith are all taken literally.  Belief is centered on an external authority.   People are rewarded by God for good behavior and people are punished by God for bad behavior.  The idea that the God-man relationship is anything beyond simple cause and effect is beyond children at this level.  Do some adults stop their spiritual development at this stage?  Have you ever heard of these three people: Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite?  I think they were stuck in this stage as they blamed the woes of Job on his sinfulness.   Of course, we know that Job’s sinfulness was not the cause of his trouble.

The third stage is called Synthetic Conventional Faith.   Most make the shift to this stage in their teen years but many people get to stage three and there they stop.  Conformity is a major word in this stage as we become very concerned with the expectations of others.  The ultimate desire is to fit in with “your group” or to conform to the beliefs of an authority figure in your life.  In a church setting, which is not immune to the pressure of conformity, the Christian just wants to mirror the commonly accepted belief of his or her church.  This sounds ok doesn’t it?  I guess it does until you begin to think that a mature adult should critically examine their beliefs.   Some people see no need for that.  Others want to think about why they believe.  They want to move beyond just looking good on the outside.  They want to be sure what they believe works for them on their inside.  Fowler says many adults never leave stage three.  They live with their unexamined faith and are happy to be accepted in their environment.  For them, that is Christian faith.

“And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as to infants in Christ. I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able, for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?” [1 Corinthians 3: 1-3].

Maybe I am wrong, but as Paul writes in First Corinthians, I think God has a higher goal for us than to just fit in with our earthly companions. He had higher goals for the Church at Corinth.  God expects more of us.   More on this in stages 4 through 6 tomorrow.

“Both came to the place where they held to their convictions while recognizing that others, with whom they disagreed, could be their brothers and sisters in Christ.”

What is this quote about?

Adam Hamilton is writing about two important people in his life, his Aunt Celia Bell and Pastor Billy Graham, people he pinpoints as having spiritual maturity.

His aunt came from a Church of Christ background, a conservative church that takes the Bible literally and does not allow musical instruments in worship. When he is writing Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White, she is ninety-two.

He writes “I find that her faith is much broader than that held by many in her denomination.” I love what he says about her: she has accepted a broad range of denominations as being authentically Christian, she thinks we “make mountains out of molehills” when it comes to our opinions.  “What I love most about her is how she’s able to see good and truth in those who hold very different opinions from her own.”

Surely everybody has some knowledge of Pastor Billy Graham, born in North Carolina in 1918 and one of the most admired pastors in the world. This Southern Baptist minister is so popular throughout the world that he has been on Gallup’s List of Most Admired Men and Women fifty-five times since 1955.  His evangelistic efforts have led many thousands to Christ and he became counselor to Presidents from Harry S. Truman to Barack Obama.  Here is what many do not know about Billy Graham.  He saw beyond the issues that divide us spiritually and politically to a larger unity that we should all hold dear.

Writing in an article in Christian Century Graham states “I am now aware that the family of God contains people of various ethnological, cultural, class and denominational differences….Within the true church there is a mysterious unity that overrides all divisive factors.  In groups which in my ignorant piousness I formerly “frowned upon,” I have found men so dedicated to Christ and so in love with the truth that I have felt unworthy to be in their presence.  I have learned that although Christians do not always agree, they can disagree agreeably, and that what is needed today is for us to show an unbelieving word that we love one another.”

As you read his words, you wonder what had gotten him to this point.

He saw the need to work with others, instead of denigrating them. There is no indication that he had abandoned his views; he was just able to see value in some of the ideas that others express.

Think about key times in your life when you realized that what divides you from other people pales in comparison to the need we have to join with others in unity.   I have had times in my personal life when that has happened. I can point to times when we all saw the need for loving each other.  I saw a country that was very polarized politically come together to grieve on September 11, 2001.  Many who had not darkened a church door found themselves going to church for solace.   More recently, many people were united in grief over the Charleston South Carolina shooting that took place in Emmanuel AME Church, when a young man who was fueled with racial hatred, gunned down nine African-American Bible study participants.   Suddenly the idea that some people are white and some people are black had very little meaning.  The most important thing seemed to be that humans were killed in a senseless manner and now family members had to deal with their loss and a church had to deal with a tragedy.

It is important to think about what life can teach us.

Some of the lessons come about from times when greater ideas come forth from despicable acts, but some lessons come from just opening up our ears and listening to those around us as they express themselves. What is your attitude as you listen? Are you intent on building a bridge or are you intent on building a wall?

Please ponder Jesus’ words in John 13:34-35:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Aunt Celia and Pastor Graham understood.

Life experiences can teach us a lot. As in I wrote in yesterday’s post, they can shape us, make us into different people, mature us, grow us, and give us new perspectives on life.

Life experiences can also shatter our faith.

Adam Hamilton seems to be what I call an ultra-positive guy, yet he does acknowledge this negative faith experience in Chapter 4 in these words; “There are others whose life experiences shatter their faith. When their childhood faith is not pliable enough to be stretched with their life experiences, they shed it like a cicada emerging from the ground sheds it brittle exoskeleton before taking flight.  They lose their faith as a result of their life experiences and the questions they have asked and reflections they have made concerning God.”

Has this ever happened to you?

If it has, don’t feel alone.

Jane Collingwood writing on the “PsychCentral Website” speaks of common causes of loss of faith. She cites severe illness as the most common reason people doubt their faith.  Death of a close loved one ranks second and being a victim of a violent crime is number three.

Whatever the cause of loss of faith, the people who survive trauma to their faith systems are “those whose more intrinsic faith is based on well thought-out ideas.”

Pastor Hamilton would add another factor to Collingwood’s “well-thought out ideas”, something he calls spiritual maturity.

We hear these words all the time in Christian circles but what do they mean? How can one become spiritually mature? Lots of books have been written on this subject; Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline, Chuck Swindoll’s Going Deep into the Christian Life and John Ortberg’s The Life You Have Always Wanted, to name a few.

Read them all as if they hold the magical secret to spiritual maturity but maybe Pastor Hamilton has the most important key: just pay attention to what is happening to you.

All people have periods when life gets too hard and everything seems to be going wrong. That is just  life; you know, the peaks and valleys.  Hamilton thinks the people who get the most out of life are the ones who ask questions all the time.  How did I get to this peak?  What did I do to get in this valley?   What do I need to do to get to a good place again?  What do I need to change to avoid the bad place that I am in?

Psychologists call this mental phenomenon self-awareness, and I really think this is the main point in Chapter 4 of Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White.   Why do things happen to us?  We might not discover an answer but it is important to have enough curiosity to keep asking.  Don’t be a person who seems to be a pinball in a pinball machine, bouncing around from object to object, reacting to what they run into.  There is no anticipation, just reaction.  Other forces are in control; they aren’t.

Self awareness is the major factor in learning from life experiences. Self-awareness is being aware of where you focus your attention, your emotions, reactions, personality and behavior. Having self-awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and emotions are taking you. It also allows you to take some control of your emotions, behavior, and personality so you can make the changes you want. Until you are aware “in the moment” of your thoughts, emotions, words, and behavior, you will have difficulty making changes in the direction of your life.  You will have a problem learning from your life experiences.

For the Christian, the matter of self-awareness is also a centering on what God is up to in your life. Remember, God is the Potter and we are His clay.  He means for us to have a wonderful life: “’ For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” [Jeremiah 29:11].

This does not mean that we need to throw our self-awareness away and just trust in His guidance. He may be in control but as He guides our lives, He intends us to get something out of His guidance.  He wants us to grow into mature Christians, the types of Christians James speaks of in James 1: 2-4:   “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

That’s what I call spiritual maturity.

This blog is not all about me but today I want to introduce my point by telling a little about my life. I love learning stuff.

I tell you that because it is just me. It is not good or bad.   Indeed some people don’t like bookish people; they prefer folks who can do stuff with their hands.  Others do think highly of folks who like to learn.

For me, it is neither here nor there; I had a life where learning was my strong suit. I loved it.  I loved going to school.  My mother encouraged me.  I was never a young fellow who liked getting my hands dirty on the farm so books I guess were an escape from that.

However, it was more than that.

At the age of 64, I still like learning stuff.

Now as I reflect back on my life of learning, I can see that I have changed a lot and it is because of what I have learned. Pastor Hamilton calls this the change that naturally occurs if we pay attention to our life experiences.  All of my life experiences are not from the pages of a book.  I have had very important turning points in my life and they have shaped me and molded me.  Probably that has happened to you.

But Pastor Hamilton admits in the following words that the shaping and molding does not take place for all people: “Wouldn’t it be odd and disappointing if, after all these experiences, I had not grown, changed or gained a different perspective on life.”

But you know, many people don’t gain anything from life. They work hard to protect themselves from anything new.  They seek out stabilizing experiences and material, experiences that confirm their rock hard beliefs rather than call them into question.  Some just quit learning altogether.

This drives me crazy. Wouldn’t you know it?

The life-long curious guy encounters a person who has stopped growing from the neck up.

I have to admit I struggle with this kind of person and I judge them harshly. I shouldn’t, but I do.

‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ [Luke 10: 27]. Jesus says it all right there; love God with “all your mind.”   He does not intend us to just quit leaning.   He gave us a mind and He expects us to use it.

Why bring this up in the context of Chapter 4 in the book Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White?   Well I have met a fair number of people who absolutely refuse to stretch their minds to encompass another person’s point of view.  You know the attitude I am talking about here; best expressed in the cliché “My way or the highway.”

Before you condemn me and think I am advocating the dumping of hard core beliefs for the willy-nilly adoption of the “belief of the day”; I am not advocating that.

I am talking about learning new ideas so other positions can be understood. In a black and white world, people suffer from polarization which is not necessary and it is not helpful.  I have knowledge about liberal views and I have knowledge about conservative views and it is good to know both positions.  I may lean toward one particular perspective but I can at least understand where other people are coming from.

Where did this attitude come from?

Life experiences.

The desire to learn.

This week is going to be devoted to spiritual maturity, the idea that God does not want us to be baby Christians forever. He wants us to graduate from milk to meat.

He wants us to learn

He wants us to learn to love Him with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our strength and with all our mind.

Think about it. Maybe all this learning can keep us from polarization, keep us from getting stagnant, keep us from seeing the world as just black or just white.

Maybe learning can help us love our fellow man, even those who refuse to learn.

What will heal the divide we have in our nation?

Pastor Hamilton has the answer.

The Christian Church.

What are we going to have to do to start the healing?

Pay attention to what we are modeling.

He hits us hard with the following words: “Part of the polarization we are experiencing in our country is a result of pastors and church leaders who have abandoned the teaching of Jesus and the apostles regarding the way we speak to those with whom we disagree.”

“Abandoned”.

Harsh words but are they true?

When we are supposed to model a loving attitude toward our fellow man, what are we modeling?

Before you go too far and accuse me of being a “wimp”, I believe it is appropriate to speak out in the face of people doing wrong. I think what Pastor Hamilton is accusing us of is using hateful language when it is not needed, when it is not necessary, when it causes polarization.

This example is out of the socio-political arena but maybe it will suffice. One of the most disappointing things I ever have to do is stand in a return line.  It could be a Walmart, Lowes etc., any store where they sell a lot of products and people are dissatisfied with the product or it just does not meet their needs.

The customer service clerk in the return line has one of the toughest jobs on earth.

What is so disappointing is the way people handle their return.

What works best? To have your receipt and a reasonable explanation about why the product is being returned and just explain yourself.  The clerk is going to listen and make it right.

What often happens? A cursing.

It happens over and over again as people pull out threatening language when it is not necessary. The return clerk is probably going to satisfy the customer but they are berated by language that is much less than flattering.

Now I know you may be thinking, why worry about this? These people in the return line are not Christians.  Think again.  Some of them say they are but what is happening to them?  They are having a disconnect.  They are saving their “Christian” behavior for church I guess.  Outside church in the return line they are showing they know some words which are far from appropriate and modeling something—not their Christian beliefs.

What has happened? Instant polarization.  The return clerk is on one side and the returnee is on the other and because of bad language, neither person is in a position to appreciate the other.

What should be done?

Better modeling.

How to do it?

Pastor Hamilton lays out a four point plan in chapter three: remember Jesus calls on us to not judge and not call other people bad names [see Matthew 5: 21-22], search your own heart and see why you are using the bad language [insecurity, need for power, bad day etc.], find something in the other person’s position that is good, something that you can agree with [instead of focusing on criticism and weakness and other negative factors], and finally be humble. Admit that you are not always able to see other people as God sees them.  Remember that you may not be privy to all the facts.  Think about your own humanity and how all of us fall short of the glory of God.

Whether it is a product return at a big box store, a political discussion, a chance to say something slanderous about another human being, we need to learn to control our tongues.

We have to think, how am I showing my faith to others in the words I am getting ready to use right now?

Are you really showing how much your faith has not helped you to become a better person, how you are like the ordinary Joe on the street?

Is that what you think God wants from you?

Probably not.

I have agonized over this post. I have thought and thought about whether I should do it or not.   Inherent in Chapter 3 from Adam Hamilton’s Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White is a discussion of this topic.

I hate to chance it. Some may read this and get upset, but when it comes to words, this topic is the “elephant in the room.”

I have to write on it…political correctness.

What does it mean? How did it come about and how are we supposed to relate to it?

Before I get started, political correctness is often spoken in disdain in ordinary conversation. In my experience, it almost seems like people who don’t want to practice “pc” want a license to say what they want about anyone, no holds barred.  Anti-“pc” folks feel hampered by political correctness; it seems to limit their right to freedom of expression.

What does it mean? Political correctness refers to language, policies, or measures which are intended not to offend or disadvantage any particular group of people in society.

In my mind, that is a noble goal but it is hard to accomplish. We live in a society that is truly diverse and it is sometimes hard to avoid words that are offensive to all particular groups within our world.  In Christian terms you hear the word “discernment” which means when we express ourselves we should always consider the person we are talking to.  If we have to confront someone, let’s look at another noble goal.  Pastor Hamilton says [and you know he is right] we should express our disagreements “in love and respect for the other person…Jesus says we should speak to the individual person, if possible, to discuss the matter in private.  If that does not resolve the issue, we are to take one or two others with us to be a part of the conversation.”

Sounds impossible in today’s world doesn’t it? Love and respect for the other person?

Political correctness is a polarizing couple of words in society today.   It originated with liberals in the 1970’s as they grew concerned about anti-feminist rhetoric.  It soon spread to other “isms”: racism, ageism, heterosexism, sexism, etc.

Then we had the backlash from conservatives. Right wing television and radio commentators, editorialist, speaker and political leaders began to use the term in a negative way to label anyone who disagreed with them ideologically.

What happened? Polarization.  Both extremes in American politics began using “pc” as a weapon against each other and the rest of us are lost in the shuffle, wondering how we all fit into this.  After all, we have thoughts and we have to put them into words.   How are we to relate to this “pc” war?

Again I head back to Christian foundations as my guide. Pastor Hamilton has some pretty harsh scripture he uses to guide him at times when he is tempted to speak ill of others.  Matthew  5: 21-22 calls us all to task if we use harmful words against others: “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’  But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”  This is a pretty serious threat right from the mouth of Jesus.

Besides reminding himself of the serious nature of the use of harmful words against his brother, Hamilton searches his heart for the motivation behind the temptation. Is it fear?  Is it jealousy?  Is it insecurity?  Is it revenge?

Too often harmful words just pop out and we don’t take the time to stop them before they leave our lips. My attitude regarding harmful words is: when they are out there, they are out there.   You can try and try but it takes a while to repair the damage and sometimes you just can’t repair the damage.

This post began as a discussion of political correctness. I think what has happened to those two words in our culture today is they have become tainted in the polarized culture wars between “the left” and “the right.”

Maybe as Christians, we should just try to avoid the use of those words and find other words to express what we know we should do—approach our fellow human beings with the love and respect that they deserve.

It’s is called being sensitive to the needs of our fellow human beings.