St. John Studies

John Wesley had a term for a Christian who was making headway to spiritual maturity, sanctification. He used the words “Christian perfection” to describe someone who reached a level of maturity that modeled things like selflessness, unconditional love and a willingness to suffer on behalf of others.

How many Christians really feel they have reached perfection? Of course, the answer should be zero but does that keep one from trying to grow in their faith.   Adam Hamilton in Chapter 4 of Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White addresses the idea that Jesus said we should have the faith of a child.  I think the main idea that may have been intended was that Jesus admired the trust of a child.  It is wonderful to see a person with great trust in God, but Hamilton also adds that adult faith is “thoughtful, reflective and able to recognize and embrace paradox and ambiguity.”

This leads to the final three levels of faith development that Hamilton references in Dr. James Fowler’s book Stages of Faith. Buckle up, you are not going to like stages four, five and six.

Stage four is called Individuative Reflective Faith. This stage of faith is usually brought about by some personal trial.  Many people don’t have this level of development because the process happens due to some faith shattering experience [divorce, horrible sickness, incarceration etc.].  For the first time in a person’s life, the faith that has been passed on from others [parents or authority figure] does not fit anymore.  People at this stage of spiritual development realize that the Bible does not have to be taken literally for it to be God’s word.  The world is not all black or white.  The absolutes and certainties that once seemed so secure are not there the way they used to be.   As you can imagine, this stage of faith can lead to sleepless nights, “dark nights of the soul” and just general soul-searching.

This stage sounds painful doesn’t it?   Who would want to go through this?  People have hard times but that is where the greatest growth occurs for many people.  The crucible is an appropriate image for this stage.   Just as metals are heated to a very high intensity to change them, so are we.   We find ourselves in a place where we have to change and make difficult decisions.

What is on the other side of this stage? Conjunctive faith is the stage that follows.  The word conjunctive is key as people in this stage begin to bring things together.  Hamilton states “seemingly contradictory things are at one and the same time true, in which seemingly irreconcilable ideas can be held together and in which seemingly absurd things are actually real.  At this stage, people become more open to and tolerant of the views of others.”

If I may editorialize, this stage does not mean that faith continues to be shattered as in stage four; instead, a new faith emerges that sees beyond the things that divide us. This new faith builds bridges, is open to sharing love with others and allows the sharing of ideas.

Universalizing Faith according to Dr. Fowler has possibly been achieved by rare people like Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Theresa but it is something that most people do not experience.  Even letters from Mother Theresa expressed the many years of spiritual doubts that she had. She stated that she often did not feel the presence of God in her life, but she overcame those feelings and became selfless, able to express unconditional love and suffered for those less fortunate.

Here is the rub.

Most Christians never get to stage four or stage five for that matter.   One would not expect to get to stage six but it is very common to cling to conventional ideas of faith and stop searching for answers.  The tried and true is good enough.  To go beyond the ordinary takes too much work and even if a crisis in life occurs, most people want to rush back to the status quo.  The painful growth associated with constructing new belief is just too hard.

Let’s put all this in the context of today’s world.   Is it any wonder that people refuse to get along with others?  I think not, because it is too challenging to understand another’s point of view.  Slap negative labels on people.  That’s fast and easy and requires little thought.   Holding back on a label and trying to get to know someone else takes time and patience and good listening [mental work].

I hate to end on a negative note but let’s be real. Pastor Hamilton had a very “realistic” parishioner comment to him about his teaching of Dr. Fowler’s book.  “Adam the problem is that most people in the world will never leave stages II or III and you are challenging this congregation to enter stage V.  They’ll never be able to do it.”

Hamilton’s response: “I cannot accept the fact that people cannot move beyond three.”

I can’t either. I know people who have moved beyond stage three.  God bless them.  They inspire me to be a better person and make we want to try to move on down the road toward sanctification.

Arrested Development: what does it mean? For some it is the tv show that ran on Fox from 2003 until 2006 about a wealthy dysfunctional family.

For others, it has multiple meanings that come from medical and mental health history. In the field of medicine, the term “arrested development” was used, in 1835-1836, to mean a stoppage of physical development.  In 1983, the term “arrested development” was considered a form of mental disorder consisting of severe mental impairment, resulting in a lack of intelligence.  Today the term is no longer used to refer to any developmental disorder in the mental health profession.

For Christians, it could mean the cessation of spiritual development on the way to spiritual maturity.

Adam Hamilton in his book Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White talks about the development of Christian maturity in the book Stages of Faith by Dr. James Fowler.  Dr. Fowler posits that there are six stages of growth that Christians have as they live out their Christian faith.

Sadly, most Christians never get to stage six. They stop at stage 3.  That is where I will stop today.  In tomorrow’s post I will comment on 4 through 6.

Have you ever heard someone say how wonderful it is to have the faith of a child? Of course that is stage one. What is wonderful about it?  First of all, a child is so accepting.  Secondly, a child is not judgmental.  Those are fine qualities but as Fowler describes in stage 1, a child’s faith is shaped by outside forces too much.  Children are innocent and Jesus knew that when He said “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”  But let’s examine this idea a bit.  Is Jesus advocating that adults behave as children regarding God?  I really think the innocence of the child is held up as an ideal but God wants us to graduate beyond a childlike knowledge of Him.  Fowler says in stage 1 “It is difficult for them to differentiate between God and the tooth fairy at this stage.”

The second stage is called the Mythical Literal Faith. This level of faith is characteristic of school-age children.  At this stage, the elements of faith are all taken literally.  Belief is centered on an external authority.   People are rewarded by God for good behavior and people are punished by God for bad behavior.  The idea that the God-man relationship is anything beyond simple cause and effect is beyond children at this level.  Do some adults stop their spiritual development at this stage?  Have you ever heard of these three people: Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite?  I think they were stuck in this stage as they blamed the woes of Job on his sinfulness.   Of course, we know that Job’s sinfulness was not the cause of his trouble.

The third stage is called Synthetic Conventional Faith.   Most make the shift to this stage in their teen years but many people get to stage three and there they stop.  Conformity is a major word in this stage as we become very concerned with the expectations of others.  The ultimate desire is to fit in with “your group” or to conform to the beliefs of an authority figure in your life.  In a church setting, which is not immune to the pressure of conformity, the Christian just wants to mirror the commonly accepted belief of his or her church.  This sounds ok doesn’t it?  I guess it does until you begin to think that a mature adult should critically examine their beliefs.   Some people see no need for that.  Others want to think about why they believe.  They want to move beyond just looking good on the outside.  They want to be sure what they believe works for them on their inside.  Fowler says many adults never leave stage three.  They live with their unexamined faith and are happy to be accepted in their environment.  For them, that is Christian faith.

“And I, brethren, could not speak to you as to spiritual men, but as to men of flesh, as to infants in Christ. I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now you are not yet able, for you are still fleshly. For since there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and are you not walking like mere men?” [1 Corinthians 3: 1-3].

Maybe I am wrong, but as Paul writes in First Corinthians, I think God has a higher goal for us than to just fit in with our earthly companions. He had higher goals for the Church at Corinth.  God expects more of us.   More on this in stages 4 through 6 tomorrow.

“Both came to the place where they held to their convictions while recognizing that others, with whom they disagreed, could be their brothers and sisters in Christ.”

What is this quote about?

Adam Hamilton is writing about two important people in his life, his Aunt Celia Bell and Pastor Billy Graham, people he pinpoints as having spiritual maturity.

His aunt came from a Church of Christ background, a conservative church that takes the Bible literally and does not allow musical instruments in worship. When he is writing Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White, she is ninety-two.

He writes “I find that her faith is much broader than that held by many in her denomination.” I love what he says about her: she has accepted a broad range of denominations as being authentically Christian, she thinks we “make mountains out of molehills” when it comes to our opinions.  “What I love most about her is how she’s able to see good and truth in those who hold very different opinions from her own.”

Surely everybody has some knowledge of Pastor Billy Graham, born in North Carolina in 1918 and one of the most admired pastors in the world. This Southern Baptist minister is so popular throughout the world that he has been on Gallup’s List of Most Admired Men and Women fifty-five times since 1955.  His evangelistic efforts have led many thousands to Christ and he became counselor to Presidents from Harry S. Truman to Barack Obama.  Here is what many do not know about Billy Graham.  He saw beyond the issues that divide us spiritually and politically to a larger unity that we should all hold dear.

Writing in an article in Christian Century Graham states “I am now aware that the family of God contains people of various ethnological, cultural, class and denominational differences….Within the true church there is a mysterious unity that overrides all divisive factors.  In groups which in my ignorant piousness I formerly “frowned upon,” I have found men so dedicated to Christ and so in love with the truth that I have felt unworthy to be in their presence.  I have learned that although Christians do not always agree, they can disagree agreeably, and that what is needed today is for us to show an unbelieving word that we love one another.”

As you read his words, you wonder what had gotten him to this point.

He saw the need to work with others, instead of denigrating them. There is no indication that he had abandoned his views; he was just able to see value in some of the ideas that others express.

Think about key times in your life when you realized that what divides you from other people pales in comparison to the need we have to join with others in unity.   I have had times in my personal life when that has happened. I can point to times when we all saw the need for loving each other.  I saw a country that was very polarized politically come together to grieve on September 11, 2001.  Many who had not darkened a church door found themselves going to church for solace.   More recently, many people were united in grief over the Charleston South Carolina shooting that took place in Emmanuel AME Church, when a young man who was fueled with racial hatred, gunned down nine African-American Bible study participants.   Suddenly the idea that some people are white and some people are black had very little meaning.  The most important thing seemed to be that humans were killed in a senseless manner and now family members had to deal with their loss and a church had to deal with a tragedy.

It is important to think about what life can teach us.

Some of the lessons come about from times when greater ideas come forth from despicable acts, but some lessons come from just opening up our ears and listening to those around us as they express themselves. What is your attitude as you listen? Are you intent on building a bridge or are you intent on building a wall?

Please ponder Jesus’ words in John 13:34-35:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Aunt Celia and Pastor Graham understood.

Life experiences can teach us a lot. As in I wrote in yesterday’s post, they can shape us, make us into different people, mature us, grow us, and give us new perspectives on life.

Life experiences can also shatter our faith.

Adam Hamilton seems to be what I call an ultra-positive guy, yet he does acknowledge this negative faith experience in Chapter 4 in these words; “There are others whose life experiences shatter their faith. When their childhood faith is not pliable enough to be stretched with their life experiences, they shed it like a cicada emerging from the ground sheds it brittle exoskeleton before taking flight.  They lose their faith as a result of their life experiences and the questions they have asked and reflections they have made concerning God.”

Has this ever happened to you?

If it has, don’t feel alone.

Jane Collingwood writing on the “PsychCentral Website” speaks of common causes of loss of faith. She cites severe illness as the most common reason people doubt their faith.  Death of a close loved one ranks second and being a victim of a violent crime is number three.

Whatever the cause of loss of faith, the people who survive trauma to their faith systems are “those whose more intrinsic faith is based on well thought-out ideas.”

Pastor Hamilton would add another factor to Collingwood’s “well-thought out ideas”, something he calls spiritual maturity.

We hear these words all the time in Christian circles but what do they mean? How can one become spiritually mature? Lots of books have been written on this subject; Richard Foster’s Celebration of Discipline, Chuck Swindoll’s Going Deep into the Christian Life and John Ortberg’s The Life You Have Always Wanted, to name a few.

Read them all as if they hold the magical secret to spiritual maturity but maybe Pastor Hamilton has the most important key: just pay attention to what is happening to you.

All people have periods when life gets too hard and everything seems to be going wrong. That is just  life; you know, the peaks and valleys.  Hamilton thinks the people who get the most out of life are the ones who ask questions all the time.  How did I get to this peak?  What did I do to get in this valley?   What do I need to do to get to a good place again?  What do I need to change to avoid the bad place that I am in?

Psychologists call this mental phenomenon self-awareness, and I really think this is the main point in Chapter 4 of Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White.   Why do things happen to us?  We might not discover an answer but it is important to have enough curiosity to keep asking.  Don’t be a person who seems to be a pinball in a pinball machine, bouncing around from object to object, reacting to what they run into.  There is no anticipation, just reaction.  Other forces are in control; they aren’t.

Self awareness is the major factor in learning from life experiences. Self-awareness is being aware of where you focus your attention, your emotions, reactions, personality and behavior. Having self-awareness allows you to see where your thoughts and emotions are taking you. It also allows you to take some control of your emotions, behavior, and personality so you can make the changes you want. Until you are aware “in the moment” of your thoughts, emotions, words, and behavior, you will have difficulty making changes in the direction of your life.  You will have a problem learning from your life experiences.

For the Christian, the matter of self-awareness is also a centering on what God is up to in your life. Remember, God is the Potter and we are His clay.  He means for us to have a wonderful life: “’ For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” [Jeremiah 29:11].

This does not mean that we need to throw our self-awareness away and just trust in His guidance. He may be in control but as He guides our lives, He intends us to get something out of His guidance.  He wants us to grow into mature Christians, the types of Christians James speaks of in James 1: 2-4:   “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

That’s what I call spiritual maturity.

This blog is not all about me but today I want to introduce my point by telling a little about my life. I love learning stuff.

I tell you that because it is just me. It is not good or bad.   Indeed some people don’t like bookish people; they prefer folks who can do stuff with their hands.  Others do think highly of folks who like to learn.

For me, it is neither here nor there; I had a life where learning was my strong suit. I loved it.  I loved going to school.  My mother encouraged me.  I was never a young fellow who liked getting my hands dirty on the farm so books I guess were an escape from that.

However, it was more than that.

At the age of 64, I still like learning stuff.

Now as I reflect back on my life of learning, I can see that I have changed a lot and it is because of what I have learned. Pastor Hamilton calls this the change that naturally occurs if we pay attention to our life experiences.  All of my life experiences are not from the pages of a book.  I have had very important turning points in my life and they have shaped me and molded me.  Probably that has happened to you.

But Pastor Hamilton admits in the following words that the shaping and molding does not take place for all people: “Wouldn’t it be odd and disappointing if, after all these experiences, I had not grown, changed or gained a different perspective on life.”

But you know, many people don’t gain anything from life. They work hard to protect themselves from anything new.  They seek out stabilizing experiences and material, experiences that confirm their rock hard beliefs rather than call them into question.  Some just quit learning altogether.

This drives me crazy. Wouldn’t you know it?

The life-long curious guy encounters a person who has stopped growing from the neck up.

I have to admit I struggle with this kind of person and I judge them harshly. I shouldn’t, but I do.

‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ [Luke 10: 27]. Jesus says it all right there; love God with “all your mind.”   He does not intend us to just quit leaning.   He gave us a mind and He expects us to use it.

Why bring this up in the context of Chapter 4 in the book Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White?   Well I have met a fair number of people who absolutely refuse to stretch their minds to encompass another person’s point of view.  You know the attitude I am talking about here; best expressed in the cliché “My way or the highway.”

Before you condemn me and think I am advocating the dumping of hard core beliefs for the willy-nilly adoption of the “belief of the day”; I am not advocating that.

I am talking about learning new ideas so other positions can be understood. In a black and white world, people suffer from polarization which is not necessary and it is not helpful.  I have knowledge about liberal views and I have knowledge about conservative views and it is good to know both positions.  I may lean toward one particular perspective but I can at least understand where other people are coming from.

Where did this attitude come from?

Life experiences.

The desire to learn.

This week is going to be devoted to spiritual maturity, the idea that God does not want us to be baby Christians forever. He wants us to graduate from milk to meat.

He wants us to learn

He wants us to learn to love Him with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our strength and with all our mind.

Think about it. Maybe all this learning can keep us from polarization, keep us from getting stagnant, keep us from seeing the world as just black or just white.

Maybe learning can help us love our fellow man, even those who refuse to learn.

What will heal the divide we have in our nation?

Pastor Hamilton has the answer.

The Christian Church.

What are we going to have to do to start the healing?

Pay attention to what we are modeling.

He hits us hard with the following words: “Part of the polarization we are experiencing in our country is a result of pastors and church leaders who have abandoned the teaching of Jesus and the apostles regarding the way we speak to those with whom we disagree.”

“Abandoned”.

Harsh words but are they true?

When we are supposed to model a loving attitude toward our fellow man, what are we modeling?

Before you go too far and accuse me of being a “wimp”, I believe it is appropriate to speak out in the face of people doing wrong. I think what Pastor Hamilton is accusing us of is using hateful language when it is not needed, when it is not necessary, when it causes polarization.

This example is out of the socio-political arena but maybe it will suffice. One of the most disappointing things I ever have to do is stand in a return line.  It could be a Walmart, Lowes etc., any store where they sell a lot of products and people are dissatisfied with the product or it just does not meet their needs.

The customer service clerk in the return line has one of the toughest jobs on earth.

What is so disappointing is the way people handle their return.

What works best? To have your receipt and a reasonable explanation about why the product is being returned and just explain yourself.  The clerk is going to listen and make it right.

What often happens? A cursing.

It happens over and over again as people pull out threatening language when it is not necessary. The return clerk is probably going to satisfy the customer but they are berated by language that is much less than flattering.

Now I know you may be thinking, why worry about this? These people in the return line are not Christians.  Think again.  Some of them say they are but what is happening to them?  They are having a disconnect.  They are saving their “Christian” behavior for church I guess.  Outside church in the return line they are showing they know some words which are far from appropriate and modeling something—not their Christian beliefs.

What has happened? Instant polarization.  The return clerk is on one side and the returnee is on the other and because of bad language, neither person is in a position to appreciate the other.

What should be done?

Better modeling.

How to do it?

Pastor Hamilton lays out a four point plan in chapter three: remember Jesus calls on us to not judge and not call other people bad names [see Matthew 5: 21-22], search your own heart and see why you are using the bad language [insecurity, need for power, bad day etc.], find something in the other person’s position that is good, something that you can agree with [instead of focusing on criticism and weakness and other negative factors], and finally be humble. Admit that you are not always able to see other people as God sees them.  Remember that you may not be privy to all the facts.  Think about your own humanity and how all of us fall short of the glory of God.

Whether it is a product return at a big box store, a political discussion, a chance to say something slanderous about another human being, we need to learn to control our tongues.

We have to think, how am I showing my faith to others in the words I am getting ready to use right now?

Are you really showing how much your faith has not helped you to become a better person, how you are like the ordinary Joe on the street?

Is that what you think God wants from you?

Probably not.

I have agonized over this post. I have thought and thought about whether I should do it or not.   Inherent in Chapter 3 from Adam Hamilton’s Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White is a discussion of this topic.

I hate to chance it. Some may read this and get upset, but when it comes to words, this topic is the “elephant in the room.”

I have to write on it…political correctness.

What does it mean? How did it come about and how are we supposed to relate to it?

Before I get started, political correctness is often spoken in disdain in ordinary conversation. In my experience, it almost seems like people who don’t want to practice “pc” want a license to say what they want about anyone, no holds barred.  Anti-“pc” folks feel hampered by political correctness; it seems to limit their right to freedom of expression.

What does it mean? Political correctness refers to language, policies, or measures which are intended not to offend or disadvantage any particular group of people in society.

In my mind, that is a noble goal but it is hard to accomplish. We live in a society that is truly diverse and it is sometimes hard to avoid words that are offensive to all particular groups within our world.  In Christian terms you hear the word “discernment” which means when we express ourselves we should always consider the person we are talking to.  If we have to confront someone, let’s look at another noble goal.  Pastor Hamilton says [and you know he is right] we should express our disagreements “in love and respect for the other person…Jesus says we should speak to the individual person, if possible, to discuss the matter in private.  If that does not resolve the issue, we are to take one or two others with us to be a part of the conversation.”

Sounds impossible in today’s world doesn’t it? Love and respect for the other person?

Political correctness is a polarizing couple of words in society today.   It originated with liberals in the 1970’s as they grew concerned about anti-feminist rhetoric.  It soon spread to other “isms”: racism, ageism, heterosexism, sexism, etc.

Then we had the backlash from conservatives. Right wing television and radio commentators, editorialist, speaker and political leaders began to use the term in a negative way to label anyone who disagreed with them ideologically.

What happened? Polarization.  Both extremes in American politics began using “pc” as a weapon against each other and the rest of us are lost in the shuffle, wondering how we all fit into this.  After all, we have thoughts and we have to put them into words.   How are we to relate to this “pc” war?

Again I head back to Christian foundations as my guide. Pastor Hamilton has some pretty harsh scripture he uses to guide him at times when he is tempted to speak ill of others.  Matthew  5: 21-22 calls us all to task if we use harmful words against others: “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’  But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.”  This is a pretty serious threat right from the mouth of Jesus.

Besides reminding himself of the serious nature of the use of harmful words against his brother, Hamilton searches his heart for the motivation behind the temptation. Is it fear?  Is it jealousy?  Is it insecurity?  Is it revenge?

Too often harmful words just pop out and we don’t take the time to stop them before they leave our lips. My attitude regarding harmful words is: when they are out there, they are out there.   You can try and try but it takes a while to repair the damage and sometimes you just can’t repair the damage.

This post began as a discussion of political correctness. I think what has happened to those two words in our culture today is they have become tainted in the polarized culture wars between “the left” and “the right.”

Maybe as Christians, we should just try to avoid the use of those words and find other words to express what we know we should do—approach our fellow human beings with the love and respect that they deserve.

It’s is called being sensitive to the needs of our fellow human beings.

In Chapter 3, Pastor Adam Hamilton addresses the idea of words, the building blocks of the thoughts that we try to pass on to others.

Without words, we would have little idea about what another person is thinking, other than through their body language.

Everyone would agree that words are essential, yet why do we treat them with such disregard?

The title of Chapter 3 is “If you can’t say anything nice…” and you know the end of this statement, “don’t say anything at all.” It is all about those words we use.

In today’s climate the use of words has taken on a whole new meaning with the word social media. I am a senior citizen and I have spent my whole life specializing in low tech communications [that is face to face, one human to another].  So the term “social media” poses problems for me.  It really does not seem that “social.”

Before you point out my inconsistency, let me admit that I am using a blog to express my ideas and the blog is connected to Facebook. Some of you may think my preference for face-to-face communication should preclude my use of this “social media.”  I am living a lie.  Guess so.

However, it is the idea of media that introduces problems in our world today, media meaning “ the means of conveyance, or expression; especially referring to mass media.” Media is the “method we use” to send out messages to large numbers of people.   “In the old days,” mass media methods were television or a newspaper but today mass media can mean Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Google, Instagram, Flickr etc. etc.

For the person who wants to express themselves, the door has swung wide open.   With a computer, it is much easier to get a message out to anyone who will read it.

This is where words come into play.

What are the words you are sharing with others?   Do you find yourself expressing edifying ideas or are you expressing ideas that should never escape your mind?

I have found that the internet is the place where many people lose their filters. Some people will write things to others that make us cringe.  Even in this Presidential election process, candidates have taken to social media to express themselves and I shake my head and ask “what were they thinking?”

It seems like the boundaries for appropriate expression are lost even in the Christian community. James it trying to warn his Jewish-Christian brothers and sisters about the problem of the tongue with the words from James 3  “When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal.  Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.   The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”

I find it interesting to note that first century Christians had problems with their use of words just like we do today.

They did have an advantage. They did not have social media.

However, they did have the temptation to use words to destroy others. Pastor Hamilton states sarcastically that the words from James quoted above “don’t apply to president’s political parties and others with whom we disagree.”  At least that is how it seems for many Christians.

Then Hamilton says it.   [You aren’t going to like this.]   “If they don’t apply to these [situations], to whom do they apply?”

People don’t often want to be confronted with the truth. Jerry Bridges in his book Respectable Sins writes about the use of harmful words in the Christian community: “any speech that tends to tear down another person—either someone we are talking about or someone we are listening to—is sinful speech”.

What happens to us when we use social media? It seems the firewall is gone.  We let fly!  We express and then we think.  Hamilton says “Rather than trying to understand why [others] believe what they believe, and being open to the possibility that we are wrong, we feel threatened by their convictions and look for ways to criticize the individual and his or her convictions.”

As we return to James 3, James says “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth comes praise and cursing….Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?”

You know the answer

Of course it can. Fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring all the time and it our sin with words that causes that.

I admit it.

Sometimes I overthink things…little things…inconsequential things…meaningless things?…

Well I do.

As we transition from Chapter 2 in Adam Hamilton’s Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White he writes about “the big things of God”.

He spends a lot of time on this in Chapter 2 and there are reasons.

First, Christians are so distracted by “the world.” It says in Philippians 3:20: “But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ”.   It says in John 17:14:  “I have given them your word, and the world has hated them because they are not of the world, just as I am not of the world”.  As we are alive in this world, the things of the world impact us [war, famine, suffering and poverty] but as Christians we are to see the world in a different light.  This world is not our life.  Our life resides in Christ.  Therein resides our hope.  We are not meant for this world; we were meant for heaven with God.  This world is not our real home; it is a temporary location.

It is also a distraction. The concerns of daily life can turn us away from God as we get mired in the “very important” affairs of life on earth.

Pastor Hamilton goes out in the night and looks up in the sky and ponders the limitless power of God and wonders why we do this.

Secondly, Christians take their faith and fragment it into small pieces that distract from the main message of an awesome God. I have to recount Hamilton’s story of the traveling preacher who came to his college and preached against rock and roll music.  Being a good young man, he wanted to honor God in any way that he could so he listened to the message and felt convicted.  The pastor told the young people in the crowd to go home and destroy their rock and roll music collection.   Pastor Hamilton did so at the end of the service.  All his LPs went into the dumpster after he broke them in half.  The most difficult records to destroy were his Beatles albums.   The pastor said destroy them so he did, wondering all the while why God was so upset with music lyrics like “She loves you yeah, yeah yeah.”

Why would our awesome God be so concerned with all rock and roll music? Some music does celebrate drug culture, violence and abuse against women and those themes should be condemned.  But “She loves you yeah, yeah, yeah?”

I don’t think so.

Pastor Hamilton goes out in the night and looks up in the sky and ponders the limitless power of God and wonders why we do this.

We do it because we take God and we limit Him to our own needs. Our needs are not His needs.  As humans we need to be able to conceptualize God.  There is nothing wrong with that.  My faith has grown as I have tried to conceptualize God in a more spiritually mature way, but I am still putting God in a box and I always will.

Psalm 139:6: “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.”

We turn to the Bible to attain as much knowledge as we can but even here we are limited. Hamilton states the Biblical authors got the word from God and that word was put in language for other men to understand.  Do you think the words of man are capable of expressing God messages?  From the written word, we are asked to read it and interpret it as God would want us to.  As we attempt to decode the Word, we are limited by our understanding of the language and our experience with the Scripture.  We try to understand but do you think your interpretation is the interpretation or quite possibly there are additional ways to understanding the Scripture?  I never feel like I have it all correct when I read the Bible; numerous readings over the years have revealed new things to me on every reading.

My limited ability to think puts God in a box.

As we leave Chapter 2 and move to Chapter 3, Hamilton cites a book by J.B. Phillips entitled Your God is Too Small. I have not read this book but it sounds like it expresses the point that I am trying to make.  Hamilton says of the book, “I fear that today the Christian church (along with every other religion) is often guilty of worshipping a small God whose mystery we think we’ve nailed down in our black-and-white theology.”

Maybe, just maybe we all need to go out in the night and look up in the sky and ponder the limitless power of God…and see how wrong we truly are.

In my last post, the good doctor who said “For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror” had a character trait in place that I think served him well…humility.

In Adam Hamilton’s chapter 2 of Seeing Gray in a World of Black and White, he goes beyond humility in listing other factors that can help us all with understanding others.

In my years of teaching interpersonal communication at a college, I always enjoyed trying to explain some aspects of managing conflict in the everyday world and I am struck by the ideas that Pastor Hamilton uses that would help us all in diminishing this stressful part of life. Of course, Hamilton is perturbed about our society’s conflict over polarizing political issues but he is also upset that the church cannot “get it together” to accomplish good in the world [Christians fight among themselves].

Ego conflict is not a term he uses but it is a common idea in the interpersonal world. An ego conflict occurs when a person insists on the attitude that my position must be the winning position.  People today invest so much ego into the expression of their thought.  This is who I am, this is what I know for sure, this is how competent I am, and this is how much power I have.  When ideas are expressed and someone feeds back a negative comment, a personal comment or a judgement, naturally that leads to escalation.    When you hear people yelling polarizing statements like “right or wrong, faithful or unfaithful, I am whole and you are defective and I am going to heaven and you are not”, we know the conflict is out of hand.

Pastor Hamilton has good advice to help us deal with ego conflict. Fight the tendency to label others negatively is one thing he says.  I agree, once that negative label is applied, what you have really done is build a wall between yourself and the other person, a wall that is hard to tear down.

Quit going for the “kill.” I often talked to students about conflict, trying to get them to visualize a knight in armor battling with another knight in armor.  Both knights hack away at each other until one is down on the ground and the other is victor.  That kind of attitude called “win-lose” sets people up to polarize.  Recognize that none of us knows all about everything.   Other people can teach us stuff.  Try to see value in another’s position even though you do not want to give up your strongly held conviction.

What needs to happen is we need to get to the point where we can admit that some of the other person’s position is correct.   Hardly anyone is 100% wrong.

If you are having a hard time with this, Pastor Hamilton says recognize that something which is essential for one person may not be essential for another. This way you can at least honor their strongly held belief without having to give up your own strongly held beliefs.  It is all a matter of perspective.

Last but not least is the old adage “pick your battles.” Too many people today are ready to begin World War III when it is not necessary.  Some issues are worth discussing, disagreeing and arguing for but most are not.

I don’t know how many times I have listened to people who don’t think like me but I enjoy analyzing their argument. I don’t fire back at them.  I just listen.  If they don’t think like me, I would be disingenuous if I told them I agreed with them so I don’t do that.  However, I also don’t automatically choose to fire back with a negative evaluation of their ideas or attack them as a person.  My thinking process is “well, this is just not that important.”

As Christians we have to learn to look beyond our own small interests as we encounter others in the world. We have to realize that what we do and say reflects on Jesus Christ.  If we choose to wade into an out-of-control argument, people are always watching.  Some may be impressed by our strong backbones as we stand up for our beliefs.  Others may wonder what in the world we believe as we let our out-of-control ego needs overpower our sense of civility.

Pastor Hamilton uses an oft-quoted expression in chapter 2 that I would like to emphasize. He tries to attribute the quote to someone but his research is unclear.  Maybe the words come from a 17^th Century Lutheran, or St. Augustine or wouldn’t you know it…some say John Wesley.

Take some time to think about the words:

“In essentials, unity; in doubtful matters, liberty; in all things, charity.”

What a better world we would have if we all lived by this motto.