St. John Studies

In Luke 8: 43-44  we encounter a story of an unnamed woman who finds a way to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment as He was walking through the crowd.

This woman had been bleeding for twelve years and no one had been able to heal her.   When she touched Jesus’ garment, the bleeding stopped.

Jesus knew it.  He felt power leave His body and He asked “Who touched me?”

What is the significance of this small touch other than the miracle of healing the woman so quickly?

First of all, according to the  Christianity Today Website, January 2010,  a woman menstruating in the Jewish community was in violation of purity laws found in the Torah.  Anything that she touched was considered unclean.  Since she was irregular in her condition, she was considered a permanent outcast.  The CT Website even has a word for her; she was a zabah which means she had to make offerings to the priest because she was considered sinful due to her unclean discharge.  Since her condition was constant, she was kept from participating in any religious service or activity.  She lived the life of an outcast.

Secondly, her husband could not touch her due to the uncleanness of her body and she would be infertile anyway.  During a 12 year ovulation she would have been incapable of pregnancy.  Added to these problems would be anemia.  Her society had an iron poor diet anyhow.  She was probably tired all the time and had little stamina.  She probably had general poor health.

Her real desperation was due to her inability to have children.  The CT Website describes her attitude:  “To be infertile in a culture where motherhood was the supreme female virtue hung a cloud not only over her current life, but also over her future prospects. In such societies, one’s security in old age came from one’s family. To be childless was to confront, on a daily basis, the likelihood of a very grim and lonely future.”

After the touch occurred, the woman realized that she would not be able to escape the crowd unnoticed so she came forward.  She is described as “trembling” and she falls at Jesus’ feet.

Many pastors have preached on this story and there may be very good reasons.

What the woman does is almost incidental.  She just touches the hem of Jesus’ garment.  It probably took one second and in many cases Jesus would have gone right on walking.  But He stopped.  Her small gesture got some attention.  Her belief that the touch would help was all she needed to get help.  Jesus honored her belief and she was healed and Jesus acknowledged that:  “Your faith has healed you.  Go in peace.”

Jesus proves that He is approachable.  He is not angry or irritated with the woman.  There is every indication that He is glad that she has done this.  Her touch is an indication that she believes and maybe Jesus wants all of us to know that He is approachable.  Have you ever had what I call a “silly prayer?”  I am not sure that silly prayers exist.  God takes them all seriously.

Jesus exhibits a compassionate nature toward the poor.  Some of the people who are poor are people who have the greatest needs and some of them have the greatest faith.  Jesus has great love for the poor and He wants all of to exhibit that love.

Jesus sometimes allows circumstances to enter our lives that reduce us to desperation so that we will reach out for Him.  I have found that to be true in my life.  An overused expression is “Everyone reaches out to God when the bombs are falling all around and you are deep in a foxhole.”  Those times are the only times that some people get serious about their relationship with God.  Would it be easier and less stressful to come to God in other circumstances?  Of course it would.  But desperation is what it takes for many of us and God know that.

As we have thought about physical touch this week as a way to communicate love, maybe we have considered “big touches” like hugs,  pats on the back,  hand- shakes or even kisses in greeting.

But look what an unnamed woman did with a little touch.

What can you do with your touch?

What can God do for you with His touch?

A special touch in the Word of God is Jesus washing the feet of the Disciples.

We have trouble relating to this story [John 13] because we live in a different time and in a different context than the days of Jesus.

We have to imagine lower standards of cleanliness, we have to imagine dusty Palestinian roads, and we have to imagine every person in Jesus’ day shod in sandals.

We also have to imagine Middle Eastern hospitality.  That part of the world is well-known for the courtesy extended to visitors; food, drink, water for cleaning, yes even water for washing the feet.  Even Jesus says in John 13: 10 in response to Simon Peter “A person needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean.”

Nevertheless foot washing by another was considered the lowliest task that was ever done and it was probably done by a Hebrew slave in Jesus’ day.

Today we don’t have examples of touch that are comparable.  Occupational touch would be the closest to this, and that type of touch is something that we usually pay for—a haircut, a message, or a dental cleaning.

Certainly we don’t have anything comparable that we would offer to a guest who comes into our home.

Today a foot washing element as part of a worship service is very meaningful and let’s take a few moments to explore the meaning.  What was Jesus telling his Disciples and us as readers of the Bible as he performed this task?

What does this special physical touch mean?

Many see it as a symbolic act of the death of Christ that was to soon follow.  The cleansing of the feet is a preparation for the death of Christ.  The Disciples had to be cleaned in order to take up their role after Jesus was gone.  That would make the foot washing a type of baptism.

Others see the foot washing as a selfless act of service.  Jesus was doing the work of a slave with little consideration of his own status.  He wanted to inspire the Disciples to have that same attitude toward serving others.  Indeed Simon Peter had a problem with Jesus washing his feet, but Jesus prevailed and we presume that Simon Peter got the message.

My favorite view of the story is that Jesus was performing a humble, loving task.  I have always preferred to think that Jesus was trying to communicate that he loved his Disciples and performing this lowly task was a powerful way to communicate that.   Jesus was about to lay down his life for all of us and he wanted the Disciples to know how much he cared for them and all of us.

Let’s consider foot washing today.  Some people wear sandals in the summer but many never do.  We enclose our feet in leather or some other material and this causes sweating and even damage to the feet.   Many of us try to cram too much foot in a too small shoe.  The effects can be very disastrous.

What if it was required that you washed the feet of your house guests?  Could you handle the task?

Could you humble yourself?

I am going to reference the “Got Questions.org” website* because this site expresses what I get from this example of physical touch so well:

“When Jesus washed the disciples’ feet, He told them (and us), ‘I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you’ (John 13:15).   As His followers, we are to emulate Him, serving one another in lowliness of heart and mind, seeking to build one another up in humility and love. When we seek the preeminence, we displease the Lord who promised that true greatness in His kingdom is attained by those with a servant’s heart (Mark 9:35; 10:44).   When we have that servant’s heart, the Lord promised, we will be greatly blessed (John 13:17).

“Got Questions.org” is a popular Bible question website.

Let’s say you have opportunities to make physical contact with others in your life.

You understand the boundaries of physical touch.  Here they are:

1.You know some people don’t want to be touched.  They shy away from tactile contact with others.

2.Touch between people who don’t know each other is a problem if the touch is deemed inappropriate [part of the body touched and the length of touch].

3.Touch should be gentle [for example, too much pressure is perceived as a negative].

4.Touch can be perceived as a positive or a negative depending on the presence of other people and the physical context.

With all these factors in mind, let’s look at the many benefits of physical touch.

1.We are social beings.  Generally humans want some connection with other human beings.  Part of that connection is touch.  Touch can range from ritual touch like a handshake to a pat on the back or even a hug, but many of us like touch.  Failure to thrive findings among newborns support this idea.  Babies who are deprived of touch have literally “wasted away” due to lack of touch.

2.Anxiety is something that many of us suffer from.  Have you ever had a horrible day and you don’t feel normal, maybe you are not feeling safe?  Adults benefit from a hug from time to time as this touch calms us down.

3.Bonding with the ones we love is important.  Too often we get so busy with everyday life that we forget that we need to stop and hold our loved one’s hand.  We need to put our arm around that special someone as you watch tv together.  Letting this bonding activity go dormant can hurt our relationships; this contact needs to be maintained on a regular basis.

4.Touch lowers your blood pressure.  Studies have been done that prove that people who are touched on a regular basis have lower blood pressure than people who never get touched.  Touch can slow the heart rate.  Touch can even speed the healing process after injury or surgery.

5.Touch can improve your outlook on life.  It is much harder to maintain a pessimistic outlook on life if you feel connected to others.  Touch can communicate positive feeling, trust and love.  If the circumstances are right, there’s not much negative in touching ones you care about.

6.Scientists are just now finding out that the soft skill of human touch helps brain development and emotional development.  For many years, medical practitioners have focused on medication as the cure-all and now human touch is getting the attention it deserves.  Our brain benefits from the pleasure of a deep tissue massage.  Our emotions benefit from the soothing warmth of a safe and loving hug.

Yet people don’t touch enough.

The short answer:  they have forgotten that they can channel God’s love through their touch.

Dr. Chapman has written a wonderful book and I don’t quote it often but I am going to quote it today as he drives home the important role of touch in the Christian’s life.

“ ‘Since the first century, thousands of men and women have claimed to have been touched by God.  They in turn, have touched others as representatives of Christ.  They work in hospitals, giving baths and wiping fevered brows.  You will find them in rescue missions, kneeling beside the homeless with an arm draped around the shoulder of a needy person.  They serve as  ‘greeters’ in their churches.  These are people who, with a smile, extend a hand and give an affirming  ‘pat on the back’ as people enter the house of worship.  They are channels of God’s love, speaking fluently the love language of physical touch.’ “

Several times on this blog we have discussed uncomfortable subjects.

Our first study by Pastor Kyle Idleman forced a lot of confrontation on us as he held a mirror up to us and asked why don’t you wake up, be honest and take action.  Many of us don’t want to wake up, we don’t want to be honest and for goodness sake, don’t ask us to take action.

Now we are in a study that tries to make the case that love languages exist and we have needs concerning love that need to be fulfilled.

And God can fulfill those needs.

This week’s subject is physical touch…

Oh Oh….here we go (into the uncomfortable zone)!

What does Dr. Chapman mean by physical touch?

Is it a real touch, one person to another?  Does he posit that God can touch us?

It is both.

It is a proven fact that many of us like to be touched and we like to touch others.   Some people don’t want to be touched and are not likely to touch others.

But can God touch me?  Can God touch you?

He has touched me.

Many times.  [I can hear some of you now; Carter is going off the deep end.]

One of my best friends listened to a confession and repentance I made about how I was going down the wrong road in life.  I rode around in a car for an hour with that man, pouring my heart out, crying (almost weeping, wailing and moaning) and my best friend talked to me about Jesus. His troubles were similar to mine and when I left him, I knew that I had released a lot of my burden.  I felt I was physically lighter.

Another of my best friends consoled me in a particularly hard time in my life and after listening to my woes and sharing some of his, he grabbed my arm and said he wanted to pray for me.  As he did, he called on Jesus for help for me and my whole right arm tingled like I was experiencing a mild shock.  The tingle did not come from him holding it too tightly.

In one of the lowest points in my life, I was walking the dog after receiving the worst news a man could receive.  I was lost.  I was confused.  I did not know where to turn.  But I kept praying, “show me what to do God.”  I said this over and over because I was numb with shock.  I had no relationship with God at that time but l was about to have one because a calm came over me and I heard a message.  That message did not come from the dog.  God clearly told me what to do and I felt strength come over me as I had a new Savior and a new direction.

I was asked by my aunt to help her in her last days, as her friend, confidant and executor of her estate.  I was overwhelmed at times by all the things she asked me to do but I prayed for God to help me.  He did.  The process was scary and daunting but God stepped in and helped my aunt and me both get through it.  She had many helping hands come to the rescue and when the process was over, the imprint of God was on the whole matter.   I can see that now.  Clearly.

Recently I have heard my pastor tell of standing at the graveside of her son and feeling weak and unsteady.  She has told that she felt a hand go around her to steady her.  She assumed it was her husband but when she opened her eyes it was not him, yet she felt the touch.  God’s touch.

Why do we not share such testimonies?

Because many, many people doubt our sincerity and maybe our sanity.

But this is real.

God is active in daily life for the believer and God does physically touch us.

Sometimes it is like Pastor Janet and it seems to be a physical touch from God. Sometimes it may be a touch from another person that is powerful and our body reacts.  Sometimes God’s touch results in an emotional outpouring and sometimes we can see God’s touch as He orchestrates complex situations for the best [His best is the best, not ours].

We may be in the uncomfortable zone talking about such matters.

We need comfort.  We need to admit it.

We all need the comfort that comes from the touch of God.

My dad was a very good man.

He passed away on Sept 7, 2011.

Dad was ninety-one years old.

Dad was not a “toucher”.

You see my Dad was a farmer at heart.  He wanted to grow crops and raise cattle and hogs.  He had real talent for farming.  He was a navy veteran of World War II.  He was an educator, teaching at Matoon School in Crittenden County and Salem School in Livingston County.  He was a basketball coach.  He was a Kentucky Wildcat fan.  He loved “them Cats”.

I used to chuckle when Dad talked about his Cats because he had a mental block on John Calipari’s name.   He pronounced it capillary, you know any of the fine branching blood vessels that form a network between the arterioles and venules.

That’s ok; I gave up trying to get him to say it right and I just smiled when he referred to the coach.

Dad was not a “toucher”.

We know that some people are not.

Without getting too technical, people who study “body language” will tell you that every person has an invisible distance around them that they call a “body bubble.”  Some of you might think I am making that up; I’m not.

Some folks have a very small body bubble and they are ok with other people getting in real close.  They can comfortably let others touch them and they will reach out and touch others in a comfortable manner.

Others like Dad have a very large body bubble.  The invisible distance around Dad was about three or four feet from his body and when you got inside that, he got tense.  He just did not like touch.

I recall toward the end of Dad’s life trying to show affection to him.  I would try to hug him but he always tensed up.  He could not accept the hug and hug back.

Even before his last days [when he was healthy] he could not shake hands with me in a comfortable manner.  It was always an awkward shake, stiff and forced.

Did he love me?

Yes he did.

He cared for me.  He tried to show me the way to act like a man.  He could not tell me what to do.  He tried to show me what to do.  He was a man of few words.

I disappointed him a bit, because I went the education route and did not develop skills that he deemed practical.  Animal care, agriculture, and woodworking were all things that he valued.  Sorry folks but I am not a big Cat fan, despite the fact that I hold my last degree from the University of Kentucky [gonna lose some blog readers now].  He just could not understand that.

I was a talker and Dad was not.

Until the last months of his life.

Here comes the regret.

I am a talker and yet when Dad poured out his anxieties and fears to me and anyone who would listen, I did not know how to handle it.

I just could not put the “genie back into the bottle”.

I wanted my strong, silent, man-of-action Dad back and he was gone.

In his final months I had a Dad who would talk a lot and as I reflect back on his last months, he really needed to do that.

All I had to do was listen.

And I failed him.

I lost patience many times when he rambled on.

I was in a quandary.  I did not know what to do with this new talkative person but I kept on hugging him.  I would bend over him and kiss him on the forehead when I left him.  I could see that he was cringing but I did it anyway.

Before I conclude, you might have pity on me.  Son faced with a father who was deteriorating right before his eyes, father unable to receive physical touch as a sign of love.  Father talking a “blue steak”; son unable to listen.

Sounds like poor communication doesn’t it?

It probably was, but it was what I did and it was what he did.

I longed for my father’s touch, a strong grip, a big bear hug…something to tell me that he was going to be ok and he was not going to leave me.  I wanted strong silent Dad back.

He could not give that touch to me and the words kept flowing.

And I could not muster the patience to listen to him.

But I have to admit, that Dad taught me a lesson in his dying months.

Sometimes you have to push your needs to the side and adapt to the needs of the person in front of you, the person you love.

You see I needed a strong Father’s touch, but all he could give me was an endless stream of words.

Dad changed.  I didn’t.  My earthly Father could not provide what I needed but my Heavenly Father could have.

As I think back on the last days of Dad’s life, what could have been so bad was not.  His passing was peaceful.  The setting was what he wanted.  As I think back on those days I know now that My Heavenly Father had His arms around  Dad and me all the time, telling us that it was going to be ok.  Showing us that it was going to be ok.

And it was…

I finally got My Father’s touch.

Chapter 6 is about touch or tactile communication as communication researchers refer to it.  Another term that is tossed around is the word “haptics”

Why does Dr. Chapman think this is a love language?

For one reason, it is the first sense that human beings experience, some would say in the womb.  Certainly care is communicated for an infant after birth through fondling, caressing, patting and stroking.

A child begins to explore his world though touch.

In the beginning stages of human relationships people touch a little, the intermediate states a great deal and the stable or deteriorating stages, you again touch less

For meaning of touch, communication research categorizes touch communication in five categories.  One category is positive emotions:  support, appreciation, inclusion, sexual interest etc.  A second is playfulness or a desire to play.  Touch can also communicate control.  Think about times we touch others to say “move over”, “hurry”, “stay here” or “do it.”  Rituals play into touch as we normally touch up on greeting or saying hello.  Finally task-related touching includes a nurse touching your forehead for fever detection, a barber cutting your hair or a dental hygienist cleaning your teeth.

Before we go too far with touch, we have to be aware that some people do not like touch.  Some people experience a lot of anxiety or fear about communication by touch and some feel irritation about touch as people who like touch may force touch on folks who dislike it.

This week we will be exploring the love language of touch and we will see it is not all about physical touch.

For God to touch us, it is not often a “physical” touch but the touch is very real for people nevertheless.

Right up front, I have to admit that touch is my highest score regarding love language.

It will be fun exploring this topic and Chapter 6 all week.

Touch, a preferred method of communicating love and caring for some people.

A preferred method of receiving love and caring for some people.

Is touch something God uses to communicate to todays man and woman?

We’ll see.

This week.

Love language # 5, physical touch.

“Pay it forward.”

“Random acts of kindness.”

Expressions which describe helping others.

Chapter 5 of God Speaks Your Love Language  is about acting in service to others.

You have to know, you will be swimming against the stream on this one.  Today we have many, many people who have much more than they need and they are keeping it all.  They don’t want to share either their money or their time to help others.

What can change this selfish society?

You have to take action yourself.

I am not going to give you the details.  That would defeat the purpose.  I find that my life as a believer is extremely interesting. You know acts of service is not a high score on my profile and that’s ok.  We can’t score high on every love language.

Here’s the story.

I was mowing my 1 acre front yard the other day when a man and a woman were walking down the street.  I knew them and I stopped the lawnmower to say hello.  They are not usual walkers.  I exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes and I said to the couple in parting “let me know if there is anything you need for me to do.”  The husband has a challenging health condition.

Nine times out of ten the other person will say “thanks, but we are doing ok.”

Not today.

I am writing this week about Acts of Service.  I should know that God will give me a job to do.

Here it comes.

The woman asked me to help her with her house.  I knew what to do and it was not an all day job.  I have done work like this before, so I said “sure, I can do that.  You don’t have to worry.  I will take care of that problem.”

They walked on and I got back on the lawnmower.

I stated thanking about this exchange.

I wondered why God gave me another job to do on such a busy week.  I am on jury duty, I have to teach a class at church and I have 5 or 6 projects going on at my house.  Yet God gives me another job to do.

Big difference?

This was an act of service.

What was He trying to teach me?

I could not get to it the next day or two but I finally saw a time when I could do it.  I acted.  It took a couple of hours and I had to do something that some people cannot do very well.  I had to get up high on a ladder and many people my age are afraid to do that.   I have little fear of heights and I don’t weigh that much so it was no problem.  The job turned out looking good and I was pleased.

It felt good.

What really made it feel good is that the person requesting the service did not know I did it.  Maybe she will see it one day; maybe not.

It doesn’t matter.

I just helped this person.

How to change a selfish society?

Look around.  Listen to the situations of others.  Offer help.  Be ready to act if you are asked to help.

People need help.

God will send you someone who needs you.

When He gives you a job to do, just do it.

You will be glad you did.

I am.

In Chapter 5, Dr. Chapman makes the strong point that God performed acts of service for the people of Israel.  He also says that Jesus’ whole life was an act of service.

I agree.

You and I perform acts of service and sometimes when we do, we have this hope that someone notices.

That’s not a bright, shining moment is it?  Hard to admit?

Have you ever performed an act of service and no one noticed?

Jesus often told the people He helped “Don’t tell anyone.”

Why?

Wouldn’t He want others to find out so the power of His ministry could be known?

Not really.  Some say that the “don’t tell anyone” admonition was to keep His ministry “low key.”  In Mark, Jesus healed a man with leprosy and He told him not to tell anyone but the man disobeyed Jesus.  As a result Jesus was swamped with people; word spread and He had to move to another location to minister.

Others say that after a miracle of healing, Jesus wanted the healed person to go to a priest to confirm the healing.  If word got out before the visit to the priest, it would be declared a fraudulent healing.  Going right to the priest without publicity guaranteed authenticity.  Don’t tell anyone; go to the priest first.

Another explanation is that Jesus wanted the focus to be on the message, not on the healing itself.  He knew the people would want to come and be healed and that was it.  They would not care about His message for the world.  He had a bigger vision.

His bigger vision can be seen in the words “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through Me.  If you really know Me, you would know the Father as well.”

What can a miracle do?  It can distract.

What can an act of service do?  It can distract.

It is meant to be done in love for another but it can bring credit to the giver and that is not always good.

Doing acts of service to get credit tarnishes the act itself.

I have always felt that another reason Jesus said “Don’t tell anyone” is because He was a humble but right-hearted giver.  He did not want credit.

As human beings, we are often tempted to do service so we can make “points”.  When that happens, we forget the words “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing.” [John 15:5].

If we bear fruit, we forget where it comes from.  It comes from branches that are connected to the vine.   Without that vine we are nothing.  We would not bear fruit at all.  Too many times we act like we produce the fruit on our own and that is not true.  Really, it is God working through us.

Have you ever done something and someone notices and compliments you?  You did it for God but what do you say to the other person?

“It was just God working through me?”

If you say that, others won’t understand.  They are working in this world, not God’s world.

What if you have an opportunity to do an act of service?  You don’t tell anyone.  No one knows but the recipient and you.

And God…

I have written this week about some people who do acts of service in their lives.

Today, I want to comment on Mother Teresa.

Talk about intimidating.  Who can do more than that little lady?

Reading about her in Dr. Chapman’s chapter on Acts of Service, I was struck by her words “God made me see what he wanted me to do.”

This touched a nerve with me.

Many of you know I am retired.  Let me tell you, when you transition to that stage of life, there is one overwhelming question that you will be asked over and over.  “What are you doing to stay busy?”

When someone asks me that, they tilt their head a bit to the left or right and I get the sense that they are feeling a little sadness that they are addressing another retiree who is struggling to fill up the hours.

Not so.

You see, I believe in God and His Holy Spirit.

I am not going to admit this to make you think I am righteous.  What I have experienced is nothing unusual but God has lots of things for us to do, every day of our lives.  I believe He did not put us on earth without reason.  We all have work to do at any stage of live we are in.

We just need to look.

Let me take you in a direction that humbles me.  I teach a small Sunday School Class at St. John.  The class is full of good people.  They put up with me as their teacher and I love all of them, every one.

In January, we began a series of lessons on missionary work and it so happens that we have two people in our class who are going on a mission trip to Costa Rica in late May.  Since we were studying missions, we began to think about what we could do to help the mission in Costa Rica.  We have a church member who sponsors this mission outreach and he visited our class.  After his visit, the class decided to donate money to “Fishes and Loaves”, a child feeding program at the mission site. For thirty dollars, one can feed one child for a month.

Awesome.

The class secretary and I huddled and very tentatively decided to set a goal of $300 for the class for Fishes and Loaves.

To date, we have $1,250.

That humbles me.

I read about Mother Teresa and she says, “Let us not be satisfied just by giving money.  Money is not everything.  The poor need the work of our hands, the love of our hearts.  Love, an abundant love, is the expression of our Christian religion.”

Can we become a Sunday School class that does more than writes checks?  Can we do acts of service?

We have already proven that we can write checks.

I believe we can make the transiton.

Micah Mission Center may be our target.  It is a refuge for the homeless of Hopkinsville, the drug addicts on the street and the prostitute on the corner. Can we help Micah?

Again, Mother Teresa said “When we touch the sick and needy, we touch the suffering body of Christ…Jesus is the one we take care of, visit, clothe, feed and comfort.  Every time we do this for the poorest of the poor, to the sick, to the dying, to the lepers, and to the ones who suffer from AIDS, we should not serve the poor like they were Jesus; we should serve the poor because they are Jesus.”

Some will not want to do acts of service.  It is beyond their capability.  They may be squeamish being around people so unlike themselves.  That’s ok.

Anyone reading this post, please pray for us.

That we can turn from check writers to a group doing acts of service.

God showing us want He wants us to do?

We’ll see.

About eighteen years ago, my marriage was shaky.

That’s not news to my circle of friends and church family members who knew me and my wife at the time.

It happens.  It was my fault.  It was her fault.  Hard times in a marriage are something that you often create together as a couple.

The hard times are not the focus of this post.

It is the recovery.

For me to recover it was all about acts of service.  I score low on this.  My score means that my wife does not have to perform acts of service to fill my “love tank”.  So far in our study of God Speaks Your Love Language, I have admitted to scoring high for words of affirmation and quality time, not acts of service.

To recover from our marriage problems, I had to learn to do acts of service for her.  They mean a lot to her.

Why is this so?

Well it is not because the recipient is lazy or wants to be pampered.

In my opinion it is all about the body language.

You have heard the expressions “walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk” and the old saw “actions speak louder than words.”  How about “talk is cheap.”

There’s a million of them.

What are these expressions all saying?  To make a believer out of a skeptical person, you need to be able to show them that you care.

It took longer than a year to make a believer out of my wife.

First of all, I had to ask forgiveness for my workaholic ways.  That was easy.  That was just talk.

Then the hard part.  I had to slowly quit doing all the extra things I had done at work.  I was one of those people who always took on extra jobs and went beyond what was necessary to make my workplace better.  Bosses liked me.  My wife and child missed me.

I was never at home.

I went in and resigned my divisional leadership job.

I did my last campus talent show directing.

I quit coaching the speech team [no more late hour practice sessions and weekend trips].

I left work at a reasonable time and came home and started acting like a husband and father.  Everday.  Days when an emergency came up, I called.  Gone were those days when my wife and son did not know where I was and when I was coming home.

When I was home, I started participating in the lives of my family.

I did things with them.

You get the point.

Communication researchers estimate that 65 to 93 percent of any message is nonverbal communication.  In my case, saying I was going to be present was not enough.  I had to be present.

Has God performed acts of service for you?

Do you think God would like for you to perform acts of service for others?

I think He would.

That’s the way we make believers out of others.

“In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”  Acts 20:35