St. John Studies

Dr. Chapman is explaining in our chapter this week that acts of service are appreciated by others, in fact we are the recipients of acts of service from God and his Son, Jesus Christ.

Why don’t we act to serve others?   The Methodist church has a tradition of being a church of service.  F. Belton Joyner in his book Being United Methodist in the Bible Belt writes “ask a United Methodist what they believe and they will tell you what their congregation does…Methodists tend to think it’s not worth believing if it doesn’t make a difference in what you do.”

Recently, I was in Chicago visiting my son.  He moved to Kedzie Avenue from Wicker Park.  Kedzie is a newer part of Chicago and his apartment is more modern than the place he moved from.  However, the neighborhood is not as well-maintained.  Primarily, there is a lot of trash lying around.  As I was going out the door with him I commented on the need to pick up some of the litter.  He was not interested.  There was too much of it.  It wasn’t his job and he could not make a dent.

I disagree.  I did not get into an argument about trash but I remember what I was feeling.  It is amazing what you can do in your immediate environment if you pick up five pieces of garbage a day.

This is a little thing.  Miniscule.  But it is an act of service.

Can my son rid Chicago of its trash?

No.

Can he improve his immediate environment:  yes.

We all have big jobs in front of us that need to be done.  They can be overwhelming.   We tell ourselves we don’t have the time or talent to do them.   The job is too big.

We have all heard the story of the elephant.  That’s what is for dinner.  Elephants  are big.  Can you eat an elephant?  No, it is too big…  Yes you can, one piece at a time.

There are too many frozen people in this world, people who don’t do anything to make the world better.  They can’t find a way to take action.

Call me an optimist but as I get older I find myself surrounded by more people who have terrible angst about life.  The culture is decaying.  Schools are full of hoodlums.  TV is not fit to watch.  Politicians are all crooked.  The economy is going to fail.  You get my point.  There are a lot of people who tend to be negative.

Where can we find pockets of positive action?

I was teaching my Sunday School class a few days ago and I tried to make a point about channeling energy into positive action rather than just complaining.  Most in my class appreciate our society’s allowance of gun ownership.  I knew that when I explained my example but I really was not talking about gun ownership.  I was trying to make a point about positive change.

A CNBC special was created on assault rifles.  Owners of this type of weapon are very sensitive to our government limiting their ability to own this weapon.  A staunch advocate of gun rights was being interviewed by the news man who put together the program.  The advocate expressed extreme hatred for the American Government.  The news man said “Ok, who are you going to shoot?  The sheriff,  the councilman, the mayor, the governor?”  The advocate said “No I like all those people.”  “Well you say you hate the government, so what are you going to do about this situation?”  The advocate was dumbfounded.    He realized he was angry at vague things.

The trash is everywhere, the elephant is a huge meal, and the anger is unfocused and overwhelming.

I guess I am silly, but sometimes it starts with picking up a little piece of garbage.

See the garbage, pick up the garbage and throw it in the trash can.

I wish I could do more.

I wish this blog was read by lots of folks because the man I am going to write about today deserves to be acknowledged.

He’s no longer at St. John.  He knows what acts of service means.  That is his life.

This past couple of years he has had some serious health scares and his family thought it better to take him to an assisted living facility in Biloxi, Mississippi.

Chuck is many miles away from me

But not in my heart.

Let me tell you about Chuck.

Staunch supporter of St. John.  Retired career Air Force.  Long-time maintenance supervisor at a local plant.

The man could do anything with his hands.

When I got close to him as a cherished friend, it was at Hopkinsville Community College.  Chuck was taking a basic public speaking class and I was his professor.  I recognized him from church on the first day of class and it was a little intimidating to have him there but I knew this guy was not an ordinary student.

He was a humble man and at times seemed to lack confidence at the podium.

Still, he made all his speeches and got better throughout the semester.  I still remember a speech he made on “The Castle on the Cumberland.”  He made Eddyville State Penitentiary an interesting topic.

I wondered why this senior citizen was taking a college speech class so late in life?

Then I found out more about him as our relationship grew.  He shared a lot of details about his life [his world travels, his life with his wife Martha and his kids].  He got to know me.  I got to know him.

Believe it or not, we started writing letters to each other and he cherished the letters.  It was such an honor to send a letter to this wonderful man and know that he cherished it.  He actually kept my letters.  He showed me that he did.

One thing he did not talk a lot about was the many things he did for his church and his community.  The more I got to know him the more I saw that this retired man was not retired at all.  He kept himself busy performing acts of service for others, acts of love inspired by his love for God, acts of service with no payment required.

You see Chuck was not content to let others do the work.   As long as he could help, he did help.

He took me out of my comfort zone many times.   Slowly but surely he made me see that helping others is a good thing and it is what God intends us to do with our skills and abilities.

The thing that he encouraged me to do that I never could do is go on a prison ministry trip.  He and his other friends would go to prison and witness to those incarcerated.

Maybe one day Chuck.

He encouraged me to go on the Emmaus Walk and I finally went.  Like most people on this retreat, I had no idea what to expect.  I just lived moment by moment as the weekend began.  I found out that the Emmaus Walk could be seen as a class in Christianity 101.  Speakers would come in and talk to us about various topics, topics of great concern to all of us.

As we went into the room where the talks were to be held, I was a bit nervous, not knowing what to expect and then the first speaker arrived—Chuck.

I will never forget his talk.

I knew how hard it was for him to give it.  He had worked hard in my speech class overcoming the fear of stage fright to give that talk but he did it.

I doubt that anyone in the room had more feeling than I did as I watched him.  I was overcome with emotion as I saw this man of God providing another service.

Today, Chuck is far from me physically, but as I said before, he lives within my heart.

To Chuck,  with love for all your acts of service.

Breakfast in bed.

Vacuum.

Wash her hair

Polish her shoes.

Massage her feet.

Wash the dishes.

The list goes on and on…  Go to Pinterest and type in “Love Language–Acts of Service.”  Pinterest can give you all kinds of ideas about doing special things for that loved one, maybe that spouse who really wants you to perform acts of service for them.

These ideas are wonderful in a marriage where you are trying to speak a love language that your significant other needs to hear.  The ideas are wonderful to give that special someone when they just don’t know what an act of service is and you need them to perform an act of service for you from time to time.

But the title of our book is God Speaks Your Love Language.  Dr. Chapman may have written books to help us with our earthly loved ones but in our book, he is focusing on the messages we receive from God.

What is the Acts of Service message?  As God helped the Israelites in the Old Testament, we are to help others with our Acts of Service.  As Jesus helped countless people with his miracles, we are to help others with our Acts of Service.

As God and His Son Jesus performed acts for us, we are to perform acts for others.

This is not easy.  Why?

People are very unwilling to share their time to help others.

Some people don’t want to associate with people in need [“poor people make me uncomfortable.”]

Some people are lazy.

Some people are physically unable to perform some acts.

Acts of service mean you have to take a stand through the acts you perform and some people are scared to death to take a public position.

Some people just don’t care about the needs of others.

But what is God asking of us?  As He and His Son served us, so we should serve others.

I have been honored to offer a class at church about John Wesley recently and in doing prep research and studying this famous Methodist’s life, Wesley understood Acts of Service.

Here’s his well-known motto for life:

“Do all the good you can,

by all the means you can,

in all the ways you can,

in all the places you can,

at all the times you can,

to all the people you can,

as long as you ever can.”

This man did not just profess a love for Jesus Christ; he acted out his love for Christ with the actions of his life.

Excuse me but this makes me proud to be a Methodist.

John Wesley’s life, “actions for service.”

Maybe you have figured it out already.  Maybe not.

Giving gifts is not my “fav” love language.  I scored a 1 on my love language profile, my lowest score.

I have thought all week about why I scored so low.

Consequently, chapter 4 has not been the easiest chapter for me to write about.

Don’t get me wrong.  I have great respect for people who can give and receive gifts.  I respect them a lot.  R.G. Letourneau was very interesting for me to read about.  I marvel at his giving attitude and a part of me wants to be like him.

But I’m not like him.

Just trying to be honest here.

I have an “attitude” about gifts and it is not good.

First of all, I am stingy.  Wow,  it hurts to admit that but I am using the “S” word on purpose. It is strong.  I have been this way for many years and I am not proud of it.  I sense it is slowly going away as I get older and I reflect on the meaning of the stuff we all hold dear.  I have seen death of close family members and I have seen the stuff they hold dear and what has happened to it.

Then it happened, maybe it happened to drive a point home.

This week I have lost something I really like.  I have a pair of Ray-Ban Sunglasses [prescription] and I have lost them.  For the past 4 days I have looked for them. They are not cheap.  On top of their expensiveness, I just like them.  I hate this but I have to be truthful.  I have grieved for them.  Right smack dab in the middle of writing about God’s gifts, I lose a material thing that upsets me.  Some thing that I want back.  Some thing that means something to me.

Stuff I hold dear.

Things don’t  happen by coincidence.

Secondly, like a lot of people, I have a thought in the back of my head that God’s gifts are not without a catch.  You can accept every gift God throws at you but are they given without condition?

Yes they are.

Faith, Forgiveness, Grace and Salvation and the list keeps on going [those are biggies though].

Free of charge.

Really?

Many people simply can’t believe that the Lord loves them. Others believe that He loves them, but only when they are pleasing Him in some way. Why is it so hard for us to accept His unconditional love?

I have a friend.  He has been coming to church for several years.  I have known him for about 35 years.  I know that he has some issues; don’t we all?  I mention him because he can’t make that last step to take communion and join the church.  Don’t get me wrong.  I sense that this guy has come a long way.  He just can’t make that last step.

Why?

Maybe I will never know.

I can only guess.

I wonder if he is wondering about “the catch.”  Godly love just can’t be free.  Maybe he’s thinking “Do I have to please God in order to get Him to love me?”  In our earthly world, we extend our love to others but to get it, they often have to meet our standards.  Does God have standards?  Do I stack up to God’s standards?  Am I worthy of his love?  I wonder how he feels about himself.  Does he have a self-image problem based on his sins of the past?  Maybe he is still sinning.  Guess what; we all are.  God does not expect us to be perfect in order to accept His love.  He just wants to give it to us.  He wants to love us.

One of the best examples of God’s love is the love fest from 1 John 4: 7-12.

Read those verses.  John the Apostle of Jesus has been called the Apostle of love.  He speaks of the love that God provides in such strong terms in those verses.  [I paraphrase]:  We must love one another because that mirrors the love we receive from God.  If we love we have been born of God and this love is evidence that we know God.  If you cannot love, that is evidence that you do not love God.  God sent his only Son into the world that we might live though Him.  This is God’s love in action.  The Son atoned for our sins.  This should inspire us to love one another and if we can do that, this is evidence that God is living in us.

Yes, writing about gifts has been hard for me this week.  I wish it wasn’t so hard.

It is.

It is getting better.

Those lost sunglasses are helping, believe it or not.

Also concern about the catch is going away.  Guess what’s causing that.  I am making the effort to talk to people that I have not loved in the past and the talk has been good.  Why did I not love them?  I guess they did not meet my standards.  Why should I love them?

God loves me; I know He does.

He has given me a book to write about; a chapter to discuss that is tough and a week to learn how much he cares about me.

I get it; I feel it; I need to pass it on…

In Chapter 4, Dr. Chapman talks about gifts.

Gifts can be tangible but also gifts can come from the words we use with others.

In today’s world, it seems that we hear about so many messages that can cause pain and hurt; we will refer to those as disconfirming messages.  They disconfirm or “put down” the receiver of the message.  Let me give you some examples.

Aggressive messages are disconfirming as they express the need for the speaker to dominate another with physical or mental threat.  The aggressive person wants their way and will do what they need to do to get it.

Interrupting messages disconfirm because they interrupt the thoughts of another.  Often when a mid-message interruption occurs, the idea is communicated that the speaker is not important and their ideas are not worth listening to.

Impersonal responses occur when a person responds to a direct request with a vague reference to a general idea.  Let me give you a dialogue example.  One person says to another, “I have been having personal problems lately.”  The responder says “Yes we all have personal problems. It is a sign of the times.”  That kind of response says “I don’t want to talk to you about your personal problems.”

We can go on and on….

Let’s flip the coin over on the other side and talk about verbal gifts of confirmation.  We can use confirmation at no cost to ourselves and confirmation really matters to others.  Confirming messages say to the receiver of the message  “you exist, you count and you are important”.

Can you listen to another person and have the attitude of acceptance and not judgement?  Can you listen to another person and have the attitude of acceptance and not rejection?  I was reading some responses to a question about being open with others that I posed to some college students this morning and the reason they did not want to be open with others is fear of judgement and fear of rejection.  These are common concerns for all humans who are in situations where they could share.  They would rather not share than face the fear of judgment and rejection.

What would it cost you to recognize the person who is talking to you?  Give the other person positive head nods, good direct eye contact and a positive “uh huh” from time to time.  Act like you are processing their messages.  Let them know this by your body language.  This recognition is a gift they will appreciate.

What would it cost you to acknowledge the ideas and feelings of another?   You don’t have to agree with another person but ask questions about what they are saying.  Reflect back to them what they are saying.  That lets them know you are actively processing the content of what they are expressing.  It means a lot to others to know you are considering the content of their messages.

What would it cost you to endorse the ideas and feelings of another?  I am amazed at people who agree with others but they don’t tell the other person that they do.  Why?  This level of confirmation is the most important because you are taking another person’s ideas and you are saying “You are right.”  This really makes another person feel valued and it is a wonderful gift.  People like to have their ideas endorsed.  Even if you don’t agree 100% with what a person has said or done, can you accept what they have said or done?   For instance a friend may have had an angry outburst and you don’t appreciate it but can you say, “I understand why you are so angry.”  This shows a degree of empathy even though you wish they had not shown such public anger.

When Dr. Chapman talks about God’s gifts, they are spiritual in nature and important but vague [wisdom, faith, healing, prophecy].  When Dr. Chapman talks about our giving gifts, his examples are often tangible.

What about giving the gift of confirmation?

We love it that God values us.  Consider passing that on to people that you encounter.

They will really appreciate your efforts.

I had it wrong.

I have had a relationship with God since 1998; you do the math.  I am 63.  I was born in a church-going family so I was a “religious” person for many years before 1998.  Since 1998 I have had a hunger for God that is unsatisfied.  I want to know Him more in heart, soul and mind [everyone knows where that comes from].

I have felt closer to God since 1998 but I certainly don’t have everything figured out.  I never will.  However, I was reading some material the other day that helped me so much.  It was about faith.  I thought I would share.

Early on in my post 1998 walk, I encountered the basic idea that one of God’s greatest gifts to mankind is grace, the love and mercy given to us by God because God desires us to have it, not because of anything we have done to earn it.  That is needed because we cannot shake the urge to sin from our being.  Sin is a permanent stain and to receive salvation, we have to have grace to attain it.  Grace is generous, free, totally unexpected and undeserved.  What a necessary and wonderful gift!

What I had wrong was my conception of faith.  I never considered that as a gift.  I always felt that faith was my part of the bargain. I had to produce that.

Until the other day…

A major learning moment

I encountered an interpretation and explanation that shook me up.  John McArthur, the American pastor, author and syndicated radio host writes “Faith is nothing that we do in our own power or by our own resources. In the first place we do not have adequate power or resources. More than that, God would not want us to rely on them even if we had them. Otherwise salvation would be in part by our own works, and we would have some ground to boast in ourselves. Paul intends to emphasize that even faith is not from us apart from God’s giving it.”

I had it wrong.

Let’s consider sin to help us understand.  Let’s say that I am going to focus on only one sin.  I want to quit doing a particular sin.

The fact is, sin is a part of me and it always will be.  To quit doing a sin, I have to be willing to change but because of my sin nature, I will never be willing to change.  Worse than that, I can’t create enough faith to bring about the change but faith is a gift from God.

Ephesians says “For it is by grace that you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift from God.” [2:8]

I have never examined this verse closely until now.  Now I see that faith is followed by the modification “this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God.”  The gift from God is faith.

What do I need to accept the gift of faith?   Open my hands, admit my weak faith and helplessness and ask God to help me believe.

I reference the story in Mark about the father who has the spirit possessed son.  This evil spirit has robbed the son of speech.  Worse than that, the boy foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth, falls down and becomes rigid on the ground.  The father had already asked the disciples to help the boy but they had no success driving out the spirit.  The father brings the boy before Jesus and the boy goes into a demonstration of the ill effects of the spirit.  Jesus watches for a while and then makes the general statement “Everything is possible for him who believes.”

What did the father say?  “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief.”

This is a sincere admission of unbelief with a request for faith.  The boy recovered and the spirit left him “with a shriek.”

Early on, I latched onto the idea of grace but I did not see that faith was associated.  Now I am beginning to see that.  Faith is like the breath of spiritual life.  It is given to us as part of grace.

What we have to do is decide to exercise the faith that God has given us.  If we don’t use our faith, it is not God’s responsibility, it is ours.

McArthur tells a story about a man who was desperately searching for a tent revival:  “he was very late to a revival meeting and found the workmen tearing down the tent in which the meetings had been held. Frantic at missing the evangelist, he decided to ask one of the workers what he could do to be saved. The workman, who was a Christian, replied, ‘You can’t do anything.  It’s too late.’ Horrified, the man said, ‘What do you mean? How can it be too late?’ ‘The work has already been accomplished,’ he was told. ‘There is nothing you need to do but believe it.’ ” [Have faith]

All these years I knew I had a wonderful gift from God already.

Now I have another.  Am I going to untie the bow, remove the wrapping paper, pull the gift out of the box and use it?

This word denotes any good gift that flows from God’s love to humans. The word can also mean any of the spiritual graces and qualifications granted to every Christian to perform his or her task in the Church. In the narrowest sense, it is a theological term for the extraordinary graces given to individual Christians for the good of others.*

What gift are you going to give?

Today, I am going to make some folks mad.

I am going to talk about types of “Christians” who just don’t believe in charismata.

First are the folks who don’t feel they have any gifts to give away.  I believe that God would disagree.  Everyone has something that they can do.  This past Saturday we had a project at the United Methodist Men’s meeting and I am going to use it as an example of how we all have gifts to give.  At UMM we had all levels of activity represented in the group of men.  Some men were what I would call “super seniors” and they felt they could not handle a chain saw so they found a job cleaning up a dirty part of the church on the outside.  Then we have the seniors who could work but the pace was slower and more deliberate but work they did.  Then the middle agers, who worked with all the equipment and put a lot of effort into what they did.  This left the younger guys who did the most active stuff and could have worked long past when we quit.  They had a tremendous amount of energy to cut limbs, pull limbs, pile limbs etc.  I hope you are getting my point.  Everyone had something they could do.  This is the way it is with everyone.  Everyone can contribute, no matter what their skill or activity level.  There is enough work in the church to go around for everyone.

The Country Club Managers—These  people are only interested in church because of the power.  They love to control things.  They love to control people.  They are very good at giving other people jobs to do.  The church exists for their benefit and they are very much into “belonging” to the elite group within the church.  These people are big believers in in-group and out-group concepts.  They are not big workers in the church.  What gifts they share have an ulterior motive attached:  “What can this do to increase my power?”

The people with their hands out—These people belong to church because they want gifts.  They have needs.  They belong to church to receive and they are on the look for more benefits.  There is nothing wrong with people who have needs, but even people who have needs can give of their time and effort from time to time.

The Elderly—I gotta be careful.  I’m 63.  Some regard me as elderly.  That’s ok but it is important not to use this as an excuse to do nothing.  Everyone can do something in the church [reference the UMM group above].  People who are elderly think that the “young’uns” run the church but what happens is they don’t look around and see there are many things that can be done, from setting tables, to writing notes, to attending a coffee group or going to the church prayer meeting on Tuesday morning.  This is going to sound harsh but I believe God wants us to give our gifts until we die.

Done My Duty People—These folks just think God wants their one hour for a week and that is all.  When things come up in the church, they don’t feel they should attend.  When asked to help, they decline.  They have done their duty for the week.  They have spent 1 hour in worship service.   Needless to say, they don’t give their gifts to anyone.

Twice A Year Christians—You know them.  On Easter and Christmas the church is full of these people.  You think it is silly to see people come for 1 hour a week, but  these people are satisfied with 2 hours a year.   We never see them long enough to know them, much less know if they have any gifts to share.  They disappear after Easter and Christmas services.

Independents—I know a few and they are mostly men.  These people may be honestly shy and if that is the case, maybe they need a pass.  However the “independents” I know are what I call “the lone wolf men” who just don’t want to belong to anything other than the church as a whole.  They don’t want to share because they have to go home and do their own stuff.   When things in their life break down, they are in charge of the fixing.  When they get lost in life, they are not willing to admit it.  They may be going around in circles but they have perfected the aura of the man who knows where he is going.  They don’t need anything.  They are not in Sunday School.  They would rather die than belong to UMM.  They feel that the church should be happy that they are there at all.   Gifts are not given; they are held in reserve for personal use.

The Empty Nesters—These people were once very active but that time has passed.  Their children are grown and are no longer in Sunday School or Youth Group.  When asked to share their gifts, they launch into the speech about how they gave many, many hours in the past but now it is time for others to step up.  They are active, healthy and able but they have “done their time.”  I guess they are ready to rest in church for the remainder of their lives.

Mostly I have written about gifts of time and talent.  I have not even touched on money.  Why?  Well if you have money, giving  is as easy as writing a check.  I should not say that it is easy to give money because for some, giving a tithe is not easy.  They are not willing to share their time and talent or money.

In closing, just remember that gifts have flown our way.  We have time, talent and money because God has given them to us.  I don’t believe God intended us to hoard our time and money.   He did not want us to hide our talent from others.

He loves us.  He would prefer that we share the love we receive with others.

We do this through charismata.

Dr. Chapman states that “When we give to others, we reflect His love.”

Yesterday I posted about R.G. LeTourneau, one of most giving people I have ever heard about.

What about America as a country?

Do we give to others?

Turns out we do.  In the 2014 World Giving Index conducted by the international organization Charities Aid Foundation, America ranked number 1 in volunteering, helping strangers and giving money.  The Charities Aid Foundation looked at 135 countries and we tied with the tiny country of Myanmar, which has a high level of giving per capita [91% of 53 million people are charitable…in the US, we have 315 million people and can muster more volunteers and money].

Mr. LeToureau’s wife Evelyn was very “like-minded” when it came to giving.  She told him one time “I think we’ve got to do more.”

Why don’t we all do more?

Professionals who know about the psychology of giving point to four factors which I think are right on target.

1.We have a major disaster in Nepal right now, with thousands of people getting killed and becoming homeless due to an massive earthquake.  We see the people and the devastation but we don’t zero in on a single suffering person.  That is a key.  We need to see and feel the suffering of a person rather than the massive numbers of sufferers.   Most of us don’t comprehend the suffering on a massive scale.  We can’t relate to it but make it personal and it all changes.

2.Can I make a difference?  Some worry that time and money can be easily squandered.  We can all give time to others and if that is lost, I guess we easily just take it as a loss, but for many, money is another matter.  For example, if you are giving money to feed children, you want the money to go to buy food and actually feed the children.  You don’t want administrative costs, shipping and other matters to consume the dollars spent.

3.Am I responsible?  This question gets at the heart of giving.  If a person feels responsible for others, they will more likely help.  If a person does not feel any responsibility, they distance themselves from the people who need aid.  It becomes someone else’s problem.  Or you may hear phrases like “they brought it on themselves.”

4.Worry about how much gift is needed can stop giving in its tracks.  If you see a homeless person on the street and this person is on your route to work every day, he will confront you with his needs every day.  You stop one day and give him some money and then you see him the next day and the next.  Do you go right by him, ignoring him the next time and the next time?   I have had conversations with people who are generous to people with great needs.  The needy person may make contact with the giver and ask for more.  They have so much less than you do.  Why can’t you give them more?  When is the gift good enough?

In my opinion, we need to pay attention to the Holy Spirit which we all have.  What is that discerning voice telling you about the level of need and your level of aid?  What is that Holy Spirit telling you about the person who is receiving your aid?  Do they really need it?  Do they appreciate it?  Are they people of good character?

I have heard church people say that “poor people are just out to scam you.”

That may be the case but should we be focused on that?

Again, I return to the admonition of Dr. Chapman: “When we give to others, we reflect His love.”  Another admonition [Jesus Christ talking about the hungry, the thirsty, the people needing clothes, the sick, and the people in prison]: “I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25: 40.

Dr. Chapman starts Chapter 4 with the story of R.G. Le Tourneau.  I “googled” this guy.  He is real.  He was a man of little education but a man who used his brains and his faith to move mountains…literally.

What a giver.

What a receiver.

To many who read about him, he is a nut.  To some who read about him, he is inspirational.

You see, he believed that God is a God of gifts.

The more I have thought about this man, the more I believe he is right.”

Why don’t we see life like he does?

I was talking to a soldier the other day and as part of our conversation he talked about his RV.  It had a small shower and he said “I sure appreciate it.”  I wondered about his statement and then he explained, “In Iraq, I had to go two or three weeks without taking a shower or bath.”  Could a person say that warm, clean water to wash with is a gift from God?

I was talking to the director of the local mission center a few weeks ago and he told me about this little lady who came to the mission center a few days earlier and she had a simple request.  She lived under a bridge.  She wanted a roll of toilet paper.   When Brad gave her a roll, she broke down in tears.  Could a person say that a roll of toilet paper is a gift from God?

We have a church member who is dying.  At the moment of writing this post, he is probably in the process of breathing his last breaths.  His family is gathered around him in his home and hospice has been called.  I am not close to death right now but I wonder about his process.  What about his pain?  Could a moment free of pain be a gift from God?  Could a moment of lucid thought be a gift from God?  Could just one more breath be a gift from God?

Why don’t we see God’s gifts?

Maybe it is because we have so much.  When we hear stories about being deprived we don’t relate because we have never been deprived.  If we were, maybe it was a long time ago and we have worked hard to distance ourselves from that experience.  Maybe it makes us uncomfortable.  Why don’t more people open their arms to women and men who would cry over a roll of toilet paper?  Maybe it is because we think we are better than that and we don’t want to associate with people who are in that kind of struggle.  Maybe it scares us.  Maybe we are greedy.  We have what we have and we don’t want to share it with those who are less fortunate.

Every day the news is flooded by information about Gates, Buffet, Ellison, Koch and Walton.  Maybe they give.  I am sure some of them do.  But do they give 90%?  Le Tourneau gave 90% of the stock of his company to his foundation and he gave 90% of his personal income to Christian causes around the world.

“You mean that rich Christian fool.”

That’s what many people probably thought about him

Mr. Le Tourneau knew that everything he had belonged to God and that helped him give.  It wasn’t his to begin with.  He was the recipient of more and more and more and he gave more and more and more.

He understood 2 Corinthians 9:7 “Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

I can’t get him out of my mind.  The cheerful receiver; the cheerful giver—R.G. Le Tourneau.

Chapter 4 in God Speaks Your Love Language is about the love language of gifts.

Just pause a moment and think about it.

Do you like receiving a present?

Do you like receiving a surprise present?

Not everyone does.

I had a friend one time who absolutely refused my offer of aid, when he obviously needed help.  I had another friend who went into a panic one time when I gave her an unexpected gift.   She went into a frenzy trying to think about how she could repay me.   Another friend commented on my gift to him by saying that “now he would owe me.”  Owing me anything was not the object of my giving my friends a gift.

Why do people have problems receiving gifts?

Our culture is a culture of “you scratch my back and I will scratch yours.”  If you give something to someone, you must be expecting something back.  I knew a person who called that “keeping books.”  It was almost like he kept a little black book of debts that he owed others and debts that he had to collect from others.  If this is the attitude you have, gift giving is never from the heart, never selfless and never without the ulterior motive of manipulation.

Some people give so much that they have a hard time receiving.  For example, women are such caretakers that they often have a hard time receiving a gift.  I have been around women who are so busy trying to make others happy that they forget that they have needs too.  It is almost as if they are conditioned to give and give and give but not receive.  They protest when the gift is offered.

Another reason for hesitance in receiving a gift is the attention it focuses on the receiver.  Some folks like to be so far from the spotlight that they panic in gift receiving situations because people are paying attention to them.

Independence is another major stumbling block in gift reception.  Some folks think if you receive a gift that you are admitting that you have a need and they don’t want to be perceived that way.  In short, they don’t want to be nurtured.  The altruistic gift giver is just trying to show appreciation or love and they can’t imagine that their gift would amount to a “put-down” in the mind of another but that’s what the gift means to an independent person.  Men I have tried to give a gift to seem to struggle with this.  Men can be “independent cusses”, not wanting to depend on anyone or anything.  They don’t want any help mowing their yard even though they have not mowed it in 3 weeks; their mower is broken and they can’t afford to get it fixed.

Lastly, some people don’t feel like they deserve a gift.  This attitude may be rooted in a self-esteem issue.  Maybe they don’t feel they have done anything to deserve the gift and they are feeling guilty.  These thoughts are not in the mind of the giver; they are in the mind of the receiver.  In fact, this way of thinking can be very confusing for a generous people because they may not even be evaluating the other person’s level of performance and calculating the receiver’s worthiness.

Why discuss all this?  Because Chapter 4 is all about gifts…gifts from God.  If you are a person who views life as a gift from God like R.G. LeTourneau, you are appreciative of everything you have and you want to take God’s gifts and pass them on to other people.

Not everyone is like Mr. LeTourneau.  Giving gifts and receiving gifts is not their “thing.”

That is a shame, because this week we will explore the idea that the best gifts come from God.  You may not prefer gifts but get ready to receive…